They'll likely kill you in the morning.

I'm ashamed to admit that I would eat these.

Clearly, the Dread Pirate Crunch is taking no prisoners.

Let's start with one finger. I'm not sure I'm up for more than that.

If you've ever seen her live, her getting up and finishing the performance is no surprise. She's one of the hardest working performers I've ever seen, in that she sings live and dances her heart out plus all the crazy costume changes during her shows. Most of the other pop stars just sing along to a track and maybe…

She always seems really physically fit and she's been doing this for-fucking-ever, so I imagine she has stamina to both sing and dance that contemporary pop stars neither possess nor understand?

There was a thump. And the vocals stopped when she dropped the mic. Also, a video went around last week that had her isolated vocals from the Grammys (doing the same song), and she sounded the same as she does here (i.e., pretty good).

*watches 5 minutes of the Brits* ugh, same tedious shit-show as every year. Nothing ever happens.

BUT SHE GOT UP AND FINISHED THE SONG!

How about a Fight Club?

Cancer. We were engaged and planing the wedding when I was diagnosed. The chemo was going to make me infertile, so we just tried for a kid and hit the courthouse the Friday after the pregnancy test. I did my treatment while my wife was pregnant and on my last day of treatment, our daughter was born. She turns two on…

I went to a wedding where the minister blessed the groom's sperm.

Yeah I know exactly what you are talking about. I know there is a slang term for it but I can't think of it so I'll just leave you with this:

"I can't believe I married someone named Jeb."

"My family is going to fuck this great nation up. Now lets boogie."

So at this place, everything tastes like ham?

No, that's a building, but that's not important right now.

Duh. When has American popular opinion ever been wrong about anything?

She didn't want anyone messing with her little sis.... except for 25 year old men. Got it.

Team Everyone Involved Gets Spritzed With a Spray Bottle