As I've said before here, perhaps you should approach the next African-American you see and call him a "blackskin." Be sure to take notes on whether or not he finds it offensive.

What do you call a Viking with a Super Bowl ring? A former Packer.

Hey as a Packer fan, I can guarantee I am 100% classless and my bragging is in no way humble

From the fact that we don't take money to write speeches for tyrants who lock their enemies in malaria-infested prisons.

Texas Monthly this week threw a Proustian 12,800 words at the sad, strange story of Bev Kearney, and if you manage to read the entire thing, because perhaps you've had a flight canceled or you're pulling a double shift in the parking garage tollbooth, you'll likely follow a winding trajectory in trying to decide what…

"The fact that a coach can become so self-assured in that environment that she thought she'd survive an affair with one of her own student-athletes suggests to me that she Kearney saw herself as above basic laws of physics."

Are we sure Albert even went to a fucking food school at this point? Yellow?

You won't be happy until the Foodspin approval rating is below Congress', will you?

To be perfectly honest, even if you give your kid a reasonable name, chances are I will still hate your baby.

Eh, sure. Suarez played fine.

But compared to his normal self, well, he just never seemed to sink his teeth into this one.

"here in after" | "both teams futures" | "Both of sound mind created a mutual agreed upon contract" | "shocks the conscious"

As a member of the bar, the only people I hate more than lawyers are law students. Also, he misspelled "remedy." And used bold and underline. Jesus.

God damn I hated law school.

-4

Already losing my shit at Cartoons Plural.

Greg, just an aside, but you do a great job with these columns. Just giving praise where it is due. Keep up the great work.

Bad vote counting in Florida, shocking.

This is a relevant and thought-provoking piece of contemporary art and social commentary in a very meta tableau. By experiencing their 15 minutes of fame yesterday and now appearing on the Today show, these two gentlemen are demonstrating the painfully obvious fact that they have no future.

I want to do a kickstarter and just fund these two guys going to various live events and being in the background.