But mah fantasy team!!!!!

Doesn’t Marchman now live in Philly? Not that this in any way redeems the City or it’s chode-tastic fanbase mind you.

The negative exchange rate has hit Canada harder that I thought.

Pepperidge Farms Dismembers. 

Mexico is paying for it. Like everything else. Duh. 

Man, Richard Sherman’s really lost a step. 

I honestly thought that was like a selfie stick with a large baked potato on the end.

Withholding taxes and taxes for social services/insurance deducted from a paycheck are all considered “payroll taxes.”

A payroll tax cut decreases the amount of tax collected from one of two places: Social Security or Medicare.

“At least you got 1985.”

goddammit...

C’mon now, everyone knows that WhatsApp is only used by adults having extramarital affairs. 

Marrying into the Upton family will do that to you. 

Surely now you must understand the “special” allure of a player going home to play after Kawhi, no?

it’s that Bears coach Matt Nagy is a madman, an Ahab figure, from whom something fundamental was taken

I wouldn’t confuse competing with the Rangers with cap space/Manhattan with competing with the Leafs.

If Lou Lamoriello was still alive, he’d have offer-sheeted Marner for $12 million a year by this point.

and here I thought that Gas Station Dick Pills was just a reformed version of Dashboard Confessional

Do not underestimate that furry asshole. 

These all look like the names who lost in your franchise’s “Name the Team” contest.