Necessary edit to add:

“Should I send this to her?”

For clean sweat pants, I’ll pull out the “fancy” ingredients. Kitchen closes around 11pm.

My husband built me a small wood fired bread/pizza oven, and it’s finally cured enough to use. He was an eagle scout, knows to build a fire and all that. NYE might be the night to crank that sucker up to 900 and have pizza in 90 seconds! Depends on whether it’s raining, again, I guess. 

I worked in Sterile Processing and Infection control for a few years before transferring to a Public Health Department.

Quote: “the facility wasn’t properly following sterilization guidelines or cleaning medical instruments correctly”.

I dunno about you - but my eye doctor always asks me “is there anything else I can help you with today” at the end of my appointment, it’d be nice to have a good answer for him. 

Agreed. Have horrible stories of my own, er nurse, deadpan charting a must.

As usual, I need to know if these are adults or children. I know one says “bored at school,” but “school” could be elementary, or law.  That would make a difference in many of these.

I am 100% sure it was intentional on the part of the triage nurse writing up the report.

Didn’t bury it, I just slipped and fell and it got lodged in there, I swear!

Kinda buried the lede there.

I beg to differ. This kind of wonkiness has been happening since always.

“HAD AN EGG VIBRATOR COME APART IN VAGINA LEAVING PART OF IT AND5 BATTERIES IN THE VAGINAL CANAL”

“SQUIRTED MIXTURE OF BLEACH AND WATER INTO RECTUM WANTING TO PREVENT AIDS”

Oh, I thought the popcorn kernels-ear-feeder was a toddler!

buried a lot of things, if we’re being honest.

“SLIPPED & FELL ON WET FLOOR AT HOME & ALSO HAS HAD SEX TOY STUCK IN VAGINA FOR 8 MONTHS”

““SNEEZED AND A COMPUTER KEYBOARD KEY CAME OUT RT. NOSTRIL, SNEEZED AGAIN & ANOTHER ONE ALMOST CAME OUT””