Legit favorite lines of ALL TIME. OF ALL TIME. I mean. It's hilarious!

Yeah, I mean, probably nothing you could put in a sausage would be considered "humane euthanasia," but maybe the rest of your family feels like you do (or similar) and are kind of like..."well, kinda fucked up, but no sense in making a Thing of it now, I guess..."

A lot of people will tell you he's a terrible lyricist, and I will defer to some of them in terms of comprehensive/artistic knowledge, but I love his lyrics in general. Though he's probably, in terms of technical rapping ability, in the low middle, I suppose.

"all them mocha lattes

"family business" is a super-cheesy song and YET it also makes me cry every time, maybe because I super-relate to it. So I love it.

I dunno if you're serious or not, but I will say this: I WANT TO BELIEVE.

Rat poison is a HORRIBLE way to die.

There was a case here in Chicago like that. Basically, the owner of a certain house didn't want dogs on his lawn (which, in his mind, included the patch of land on the right side of the sidewalk, street-side), and put stuff on his grass that would make the dogs sick if they ingested it at all (even licking).

marry me

I am torn between laughing and being horrified.

I agree with your general point— I said something to that effect too— but the actual high strung/travel/etc. stuff isn't USUALLY likely to faze a show dog since they're used to it. All of it, even their hysterical owners and handlers. So even though that could be the cause, I wouldn't automatically assume it either…

Intentionally? Because the "whys" here number into the hundreds if it was an accident haha.

So. *puts on plaid cap* Jagger's owners are, at this time, the only source of this "poison-filled beef" statement. Now, I'm not saying owners are dumb, but barring the vet's summation of the necropsy/toxicology, I AM saying they could have misunderstood what the vet told them.

I worked at Baker's Square as a teen and can STILL sing their version of "Happy Birthday." Holy shit was I happy when I upgraded to a restaurant that neither sang nor provided a free slice of pie for that shit.

please. It's not about saying "children" are animals.

*high five* RIP Sophia Yin. :(

Didion v. Salinger: the landmark case re: slapfights.

I love Joan Didion, and yet I always get the feeling, to this day...she's def the kind of WASPy girl who would not fuck with me. Like a mean girl in the classiest, to-the-manor-born way.

I know someone who started clicker training their son at 18mo. Cheerios for basic stuff, and spoonfuls/tiny bites of the food he liked as more high-value rewards. Worked like a damn charm.

I starred this earlier, but I can't emphasize how important this is. It's not special-snowflake-letting-your-kid-flip-out, either— one of the things my parents did right when I was growing up was recognize, that, to a child, pretty much any outing is FUN AS HELL.