let's not ruin his life by exposing him to Patti's "matchmaking."

Hmm. I'll have to try the mascara tip. I have used shadow but I'm really liking the Anastasia brow pomade; it is my favorite product with MUFE Aqua Brow a close second.

Maybe this is a dumb question— I feel stupid asking it, anyway, because I'm at least decent with makeup— but is there any way to do this when you wear contacts that doesn't result in literal tears and a totally botched waterline?

I really, really want to learn how to put on eyebrows.

I've had a copper IUD for...six years now? And I've had little to no side effects (I already had a pretty heavy flow and medium-intense cramps, and the copper IUD didn't make that better, obviously, but it didn't make it noticeably WORSE). It seems to me that for many or most, the benefits outweigh the negatives.

It makes me crazy— it's not a contest to see who can sleep the least; the recs specifically say it's not healthy to get that little sleep (and yes there are always outliers).

Fillers. Way, waaaaaay too many fillers. It's crazy because the drugs and booze can actually take a good long while to wreck your looks but putting that amount of Restylane in your face will make you look a hard forty in less than 15 minutes.

I mean. Pugs would have definitely fit the profile. :D At least with those characters you could wager that, if they HAD pugs, they'd be in perfect physical condition.

I am no saint haha. I worked in restaurant management for years— ironic in this post— before going into med/behavior.

They showed Shih Tzus, not pugs.

They had Shih Tzus.

I watch it almost every time I have a bad (human-client-related) day at work. It makes me laugh so hard, reminds me why I do what I do, and, most importantly, reminds me that it's not just me: SOME OWNERS ARE SO INSANE THEY MADE A WHOLE MOVIE ABOUT IT.

This gif is relevant to my name.

Right? Time for the quarterly "Is this your first day? Do you know what the purpose of the Dirtbag EVEN IS" eye-roll.

Right? Time for the quarterly "Is this your first day? Do you know what the purpose of the Dirtbag EVEN IS" eye-roll.

gonna get buried in the greys, but this dude she landed basically embezzled 8 million dollars from Google and the SEC banned him from trading for life. So.

i think it's the eyelashes. She's a really beautiful woman and all the rest is like, eh, nice contouring, but those wigs are truly insane.

I was taught when I worked in the industry to always, always say "I'll be right back with your change," even if the tip was apparent.

This is not nearly as badass as that last woman, but I once was working a management shift where two servers collided, both holding stacks of glasses that broke in the crash (they were not allowed to use trays and had to bus their own tables).

I used to think I was awesome for working an FOH management shift (so I couldn't just stand still and expo, I had to walk around) on a freshly broken toe.