I love fox Mulder more than he loves sunflower seeds.

...noted. ☺

God, I threw up all over this guy I was besotted with, after drinking copious amounts of red wine and smoking unaccustomed menthol cigarettes. I was mortified. Now I know I’m allergic to tannins, so red wine always makes me vomit explosively. At the time it was awful

Jesus, I’m so sorry to hear that. But at least there are a few less of then out there to prey on children

I was sure they were in some non-extradition country somewhere and we’d never know

Are you Amy bass? Because the link goes to a lovely but innocuous Facebook page, and I don’t want you to get flooded unnecessarily

Once, I broke a rib through clumsiness and went to the ER days later at about 2 am, thinking it would be easier, and I couldn’t sleep. Ended up having to speak with a social worker before I could leave. They thought I was being abused. Still never crossed my mind to go get checked when I was raped.

I never really knew my rapist’s name...it was Mitch and he was a townie, and I told him no, I was too drunk, and afterwards, he made.me share my last cigarette. I’d take the chance that my friends and family on social media would dislike it if I knew who he was and I could tell people to stay away

I have giant sausage fingers, and while I like my ring, I’ve lost it like 3 times in my house for a month or more, and right now it is in my car because the band has a break in the weld from the extension. Plus, I’m a restaurant manager, and my hands are in and out of sanitizer, food, and dishes all day. So, I guess…

That’s adorable

Is he named paczki because he’s like a fat little jelly donut?

MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL

Does that one certificate/diploma say church of university? Church of universe??

The party never stops is another great one

He’s been marinated!

Just ‘re read that. Gimme three* steps is*

RIGHT?!? And the entire story in gimme three stenosis just awful. But seriously, NEIL YOUNG DOESNT NEED YOU AROUND, LYNARD SKYNARD.

God, it plays at least twice a day at work, and I think the same thing...I also have developed some significant issues with lynard skynard

This day has been a never-ending string of bad news. Can we at least get a baby animal video, for God's sake???

What makes it better is that it was a Halloween party, and my bff and I were going as black and white movie stars. So I was wearing full grey-toned makeup and pincurls. So, enjoy that visual. Also, I totally passed out in y bffs car and locked her out at CVS. Sorry, boo.