BOY DOES HE HAVE EGG ON HIS FACE NOW AMIRITE

Despite not learning about puberty and intercourse until 5th grade, my mom was very open about c-sections, the horrors of pregnancy, and getting her tubes tied.

Just the part where the protesters get shot...

I feel like he didn’t pay so much attention to the major themes of the story though?

you’re right; I don’t know who this “Trumo” fellow is, but he’s got to be better than either of those two

I like to treat myself to a “Sorry Men Suck” cake every Wednesday. Also known as just “cake”.

I always thought “The chicks’ll cream” was “The chicks will scream”, which made plenty of sense to me.

I wondered how you could be bad at being a virgin. I had no problems with it.

I had a friend who thought the line in “Sandra Dee” that goes “lousy with virginity” was “lousy West Virgina tea.”

The empty bottles made dinner for Khloé while singing a song

It is a cat, so it is definitely the Gone Girl thing.

This is my favorite comment ever on Jezebel.com.

Again? Patti Smith’s memoir was already the inspiration for the Ryan Reynolds/Amy smart film adaptation.

And even better than the super secret very unknown title “We wear shirts”

they’re posting about 3 articles for every gawker one.

Animals that manage to escape should get a pass on slaughter. I like burgers, but I like sneaky animals more.

A friend of mine manages a movie theatre, and “what’s your favourite movie?” is a surprisingly vital question during job interviews. One kid enthusiastically said that her favourite film of all time was Crossroads because “Britney Spears is such a great actress!”

Understandable...I keep calling his daughter Noxycontin

When he said “I’m sure you’d like a little girl like this” I nearly called the police.

Dildos at dawn!