I miss the old “demon sheep” fiorina ads. Not enough bad sheep costumes in this one. No laser eyes at all, really.

I work in an airport and heard a man being so nasty to the gentleman who was pushing his ass around in one of those not quite wheelchairs, calling him racial slurs and berating him to go faster. I asked the worker if everything was ok, did I need to call anyone, but he just smiled a gentle, beatific smile. I walked…

Colonial Williamsburg we used to recommend the penny whistles. Or recorders.

I had some old people do this to me once, but not even hard to pronounce things....like, I’m still not sure if they were Fucking with me. The lady orders the HOOMOOSE and her husband orders the split pea soup, the “London particULAAAAR. guess this is hard thing to picture, but every word was pronounced wrong, in an…

Even worse, I work at an airport, so I’ve had to just stop telling people to enjoy their flight because of all the people who said “you too” and then we’re awkward and I felt bad.

I second the people saying moscato, or Riesling, but there’s a nice gewurztraminer-riesling called vina Esmeralda that is more off-dry than syrupy sweet. Or try mead! Lots of great things going on with mead right now. Sap house in I think new Hampshire makes very nice sweet meads. My faves are b nektar, because you…

...so many times :-(

I lost it on a lady once when she harangued me for 20 minutes about why we don’t have white Zinfandel, what kind of place is this, do I even know what that is (lol). We have a small but well cultivated wine list, and I tried as hardnas I could to steer her toward a drink she might enjoy, but she wasn’t having any of…

This whole story is just so unspeakably sad. Serious question, though. Once the issue of someone being unfit comes up, the other person can just take it back? There’s not a required investigation?

Wait, no, I have a question. How was the semen shipped? In vials? Plastic baggies? How does one ship semen so that it’s recognizable on the recieving end?

I just stared at that headline for like 10 solid seconds, wondering g how we, as humans, got to this place. This is kinda hilarious though.

Wait, is Bristol Palin being stalked by the dog skull guy too? Didn’t he send someone a coffee maker? Or is this just the trendy stalking gift these days? Either way, free coffeemaker.

THEFT???? are you fucking kidding me? This bullshit legitimate rape idea needs to die a fiery death. Just like the marital rape deniers, these people only recognize victims who put up a visible fight. Fuck this noise, enough internet for today

I think it was because they believed she didn’t have intent to distribute, which I assume she pinkie-promised the judge

I LEARNED IT FROM YOU DAD

I

This whole hologram thing is so creepy. Maybe it’s an uncanny valley thing, or maybe it’s because it feels disrespectful, like “HEY THIS HOLOGRAM IS JUST AS GOOD AS THE LIVING PERSON” like it doesn’t even matter that they’re dead. Of course the guy who pretends to be thomas jefferson on NPR creeps me the fuck out too.

Sort of similar, usually at the e d of the gospel reading the priest says “the word of the Lord” and we all resrespond”thanks be to God.”. Except one time , to shake things up a bit, used the alternate, “thus ends the reading.”. To which we automatically answered “thanks be to God.”. The priest laughed so hard it was…

Peed.