Hoover might be nuts, but he still wouldn't have signed Tony Romo to an extension.

He sounds like Marvin Zindler, you Houston people know who I'm talking about.

You're not "J. Howard," you're "Commenter Rookie Bitch."

Fact: J. Howard struggles to comprehend jokes

"They'd boo that motherfucker outta here,"

My friend's mom used to work for Nokia so he would always get phones for free. He would smash them on the school desks repeatedly just to show how durable they were, and then come in the next day with a new one lol

Look, I know you guys are trying to be enlightened gentlemen and all that. And that's very appreciated. This Minihane guy is clearly a fucking asshole. And yes, his so-called apology for his asshole words really stinks.

I think I dislike the fake "Oh well I'm so sorry I offended you" apologies more than people just sticking to their guns and being an a-hole.

Now that he's no longer in San Diego, his offense will probably start showing up three hours sooner than it did in the West.

The PGA might be doing better if television wouldn't dedicate 97 percent of its golf resources and publicity to the guy who finished in 69th place.

Calling Erin Andrews "gutless" only proves that TruBiotics works as advertised.

In an alternate universe, Dan Tard is suspended for Uggliness

THIS IS WHY I HATE JETER! Literally every shortstop in the big leagues does this from time to time. Why do we collectively shove Jeter's balls down our throats in ecstatic joy when Jeter does something that literally everyone else does!?!

[knock, knock]

No no no, remember, no funds are allowed to be spent on public transit in this deal.

If that's the case, just move it to the other side of the street.

"It didn't leak out. If it had leaked out, this deal would not have gotten done."