glad this webstie still supprots the 2nd amendemnt

Sometimes in life, when one door closes, a thousand other doors get slammed in your face.

You wrote all that, but I'd shut the door and closed the curtains one paragraph in.

Sports Graphically Illustrated

He clearly wasn’t a team player, since his only true joy was playing with himself.

Tugs the hearstrings.

You are a true hero

I don’t know about you, but I have serious anxiety about getting a fleshlight through a TSA checkpoint, so she stays at home. I can jerk off into a hotel washcloth filled with moisturizer and left on the room heater for five minutes for a couple days just fine.

How can you criticize a guy who is always pulling for his teammates?

Perfect, exactly what I was picturing. 

Never forget their sacrifice

This honors my nephew who did two tours of duty with Enterprise. Came back with lead in his finger from a broken pencil tip. He still wakes up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat from nightmares about large families demanding immediate upgrades. I do my part to honor them by being vigilant and reporting…

my great great grandaddy didn’t die at the alamo rent-a-car by the denver airport to see me kneel to that hated rebel insignia!

“In honor of all the brave men and women that don’t charge for minor dents and lingering smells.”

Thank you for your (customer) service!  3 stars.

I still stand for that flag, for I am not a soyboi cuck

AND I’D SURELY STAND UP! NEXT TO YOU AND SAVE ON MY NEXT RENTAL.

Jokes on you. These kids are all homeschooled.

• In the final round, replace regular judges with remaining contestants’ personal school bullies.