I turn 29 in February and this scenario of sudden, out of the blue, catastrophic illness scares the hell out of me.

Lacob’s Splatter

I made a mistake in the state (because Kansas City is not in Kansas) and want to let everyone know that if there’s a Dearborn in Kansas, the residents don’t deserve the criticism.

Dear Entire Town of Dearborn, Kansas,

Trail of [ACL] Tears.

Baylor could use a quarterback...

I’d go with Tom Foolery for Special Teams

Mularkey will be ably assisted by offensive coordinator Jim Bunkum and defensive coordinator Fred Hogwash.

You guys are really in a führer over this.

What, Samer?

Hating my fantasy team would explain Andre Ellington’s entire season.

Joke’s on you, John Brown—my girlfriend is also a fantasy!

Also not a good look. Shitting all over someone else’s joke that was understood to be a joke by everyone but you.

Yeah, he shouldn’t have grabbed/pushed him like that. But Jesus Christ, strength-and-c0nditioning guy, know your place. You’re the coaching equivalent of a long-snapper when it comes to game day. Chill.

I disagree. Getting forcibly pushed back by a 54 year old man is not a good look for a strength coach.

I’m coming to the conclusion that the man is none too bright. That unnecessary roughness penalty with a minute left could have cost the Seahawks big if Cassell weren’t completely hopeless.

Dez Bryant surveying the scene, compassionately shouting “that’s what you fucking get!”

Blows them up on Fourth of July, reveals them right before Halloween. They’ll grow back on Easter.

Franz Ferdinand has seen worse Black Hands.