Greg Oden had the same issue.

Knowing JPP’s talent, I’m sure getting those sacks will be a hell of a lot easier than counting them.

I honestly can’t get passed the short hair.

Yeah but when Voldemort does it we’re supposed to not even mention him by name. Make up your mind, people.

Because cancer fucking sucks.

When I was little Flip and KG made this team relevant. Always will have a place in my heart. This news makes me so sad

Since he’s at Tampa Bay, probably should go with MRSA Hamster.

Doug, you can’t fight a nickname, it only makes it stick more. You have to learn to accept it. You’ll even grow to like it. You will, I swear! Trust me.

I feel like the Muscle Hamster is just spinning his wheel on this one

Man, embrace Muscle Hamster. That’s the coolest nickname in the NFL. Dougernaut is what Rob Schneider would call him at the water cooler.

Oh, and if KJ comes under indictment for anything, McKenna should win the god damn Pulitzer in 2016 for Local Reporting.

Yeah, which is why I hope Deadspin keeps the pressure on him.

Gives him more time promote his charter school scam. The asshole.

This letter: DHOF 2015 nominee

People may chuckle, but a collapsed Colon is no laughing matter.

Fell down seven times, got up, ate.

He now officially has a better prognosis than the Lakers.

I am glad to hear the Lamar was able to regain consciousness and has a greater chance of recovery; however, if I have lived my life in such a manner that, at any point, life and death decisions are in the hands of another human being, and that human being is a Kardashian, someone please kill me.

Lots of tripping going on in Eastern Europe these days.