My 20-year relationship with a 1999 Volvo wagon forces me to vote CP.

Saban needs to spend more time recruiting and less time ghostwriting for Deadspin.

Thank you for pushing back against the most idiotic adjective in advertising.

Poaching Michigan coaches? I’d be a lot more excited about taking a couple of Clemson’s coaches.

Maybe Alabama played too many glorified practice squads during the season.

The Gallardo is a fun and cheap car that everyone knows about?

Get used to having a bunch of your Thanksgiving weekends ruined.

I’ve noticed this too. It seems like every time one team loses, another team wins.

The Deep State has finally made its true objective clear.

I have essentially done this. I have a 1999 Volvo that my son is using in college. Let’s just say he has no plans to drive it once he’s done with school and I can’t blame him one bit. It’s more likely to be donated to a public radio station than to be passed down to anyone.

I was at this game a few years back. I’m not much of a hockey fan and I had no idea this was going to occur. Bewildering and a little bit awesome.

No team from Alaska has beaten Northwestern this year either. What was your point again?

I tend to only start watching NFL games at 3:45 on Sunday afternoon for this very reason.

That scene from American Gods where vigilantes toting Bible-verse-inscribed weapons shot up a group of immigrants and Jesus seems more prophetic by the day.

Hey Grayson!

Our apologies, Mr. Trump, there’s been a slight problem with the delivery of your new aircraft.

So Keidis is from California. Who would have ever guessed that?

And Kanye seemed a little off too.

Sorry Carmax, it’s either Harrisburg, PA or Harrisonburg, VA.

The Founding Fathers thought that one through and wisely rejected it.