You haven’t spent much time in Philly have you?

Um, the Phillies won one. Did I miss Philadelphia collapsing in on itself?

I think a lot depends on your proximity to Eagles fans. Although like all real Americans, I despise the Patriots, if they win another one they’ll have six rings instead of five. That’s a fractional increase in their prestige and their fans’ obnoxiousness. On the other hand, if Philadelphia wins its first Super Bowl,…

Is this a joke? If United doesn’t allow emotional support animals on its flights, then I’m taking my business elsewhere. I’ve had trouble with other airlines too. American refused to allow my certified emotional support badger to accompany on a flight from Philadelphia to New Orleans, so I had to cancel. If this keeps…

If you can read, thank a teacher.

I would so buy this car, but I can’t speak any Italian.

Bortlesmania sweeps the nation!

The answer you seek is within you.

Now if we could just convince the Mara family to get Eli to buy the Browns.

Software engineers aren’t designed to make jokes!

Oh my God! Somebody stole our horns! We gotta find our horns!

The manuals just aren’t losing their value. I see none below $36K on Autotrader.

I am so hyped to watch the first few innings of the remaining games!

I’ll take it, even without the diesel.

Tom Brady is the poor man’s Mark Sanchez.

Fox News is the poor man’s Reichs-Rundfunk-Gesellshcaft.

This is an excellent overview of the autobahn driving experience. I would only add that 98.9% of the campers pulling out into the passing lane are being driven by the freaky deaky Dutch. It’s a little known fact that the NL on their plates actually stands for “Nur Links.”

I guess you haven’t worked in an Amazon Fulfillment Center.

Something has to carry the spare parts.

I would so buy this car if it were mechanically perfect and half the price.