Goop hasn’t hit rock bottom yet.

The pandaring is unbearable.

I believe to work it, you just put the thing down, flip it and reverse it. After that, you must chant “Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gniht ym tup, Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gniht ym tup.” Once done properly, the process is complete.

Isn’t that what books are for? Sophisticated decoratin’.

“And I’m the regrettable result of a drunken escapade by the Grinch into Whoville.”

I’m just assuming it, like, grew wings. Hence the name change.

How many adult actresses can claim they fucked a vampire so hard the bed broke? Belladonna ain’t got shit on Bella.

Fuck, is the de Blasio defense applicable in this situation? You know what I was trying to do, Sparky!

The knife (which was meant to cut all the free pizza), you’re twisting it.

That’s a PTSD stare. To be fair, the Ivanka and Trudeau photo was pretty brutal.

Hey! Did you not see that it was signed by an actor? An Actor! I’m no wordsmith, but ‘creative reach-around’ could have been a nice lights-fade.

It’s an unfortunate picture, to be sure. His visage just screams: ‘I, too, have raw hamburger balls’.

We talking cc’s? If so, I’d say she’s a heavyweight.

Clinton might have used this as a bargaining chip to at least accomplish something. This drowning administration sees it as a win.

I’ve heard the dude in your gif does a wonderful rendition of My Ding-a-Ling.

Three basic choices shouldn’t be an unfamiliar concept to the Girl Guides:

Bipartisan warts and all! Wartus pro omnibus, omnes pro wart.

Should dudes wear red tomorrow or nah?

Yes, still waiting patiently for Doors of Stone.

Sadly, yes. I created the handle on a whim, so not much thought was put into it, but ultimately decided to stick with the name. Kvothe’s instrument of choice in the books is a lute and he owns an inn which serves meals to the local populace. Still waiting on the third book...