Speaking of comedy writers, John Oliver describing Sessions as “the unfortunate result of Dobby the House Elf’s one-night stand with a Confederate flag” was gold.

I like to skim Jezebel when I have the chance, consequently it tends to lead me to misread certain posts. I read yours as: I am strongly in favor of retiring in Florida among potheads. I’ve liked JB (great bongs - they were legendary when I was in high school) since college and I like Florida...

They have a shared interest in pleasing their husband?

As soon as I turned on MSNBC, Matthews was pontificating on ‘cuff flashing’. PBS was the right call.

Hiding two feet seems to be a prerequisite for the industry.

Such fucking bullshit, loved the music in Moana. At least Auliʻi Cravalho did well tonight.

This is what happens when keeping it real goes wrong.

I’m shocked, just absolutely shocked Perez won. Clinton 2020, third time’s a charm!

Sounds like a Trump wet dream.

Muslims used Sharia Law to resurrect dead Jews to vote Democrat. The money raised will go to Democratic activists disrupting innocent conservatives, not fake headstone replacement.

Damn, the cuteness overload in the third post almost makes me want to have a kid someday. Well, almost.

Yes, also resisting authoritarians.

Kokoro kara, Karlie.

and brave.

Just like that time I willingly shot myself in the dick, only to later come to the conclusion that a mangled cock might impede procreation. Without Hillary to blame for my broken appendage, there might actually be some introspection. 

I laughed, not because it was biting or particularly hilarious, but because that seems to be their greatest burn against her. That and the fact that she was a highly paid educator. Warren 2020, mop the fucking floor with that sentient goiter.

Definitely not as loki in real life.

Devos fingered my spirit.

Also send Mary Berry, Fieri is on his way. Fair trade.

Do, do you not recall being a teenager? You are aware that their frontal lobes are not developed yet, and lacking empathy at this moment does not mean they are doomed to a life of sociopathy. Making this a teachable moment seems like the right course of action.