He’s lyin’ in Zion.

I enjoyed the speech, but isn’t writing about your mother a conflict of interest?

Or just an incredibly difficult way to find out that snowboarding was the correct choice.

If this does come to pass, I hope California follows through and tells the Trump administration to go fuck itself.

Like a Russian doll, her cups were full on New Year’s Eve.

*quietly raises hand*

Sure, but these children will make perfect pets for Thiel’s parabiosis project. Like Jerry’s Kids, Peter’s Pets is going to do great work in the community!

At this point, I’m just surprised Trump advisor Morning Joe hasn’t signed on to play with Mika singing backup.

The Donner kebab really hits the spot this time of year.

He swinga di golf club, fantastico health, beepy di boopy di babay di!

I’m sorry Ordell and StayWarmAndSafe, but a little bit of weed butter at night is perfect during the week. You end the day happy and wake up refreshed.

Clearly, as the person who won by three million votes lost the election.

Florida wishes it was associated with this:

Ah, that explains the lack of Duck Dynasty filled cabinet positions.

It’s actually starting to feel like winter here in San Diego. It rained yesterday and was in the low 60's today. The water temperature is the coldest it has been in years and I miss El Niño. His sister La Niña is not helping.

Kinda like how 9/11 was good for Israel, huh Benjamin? Always seeing opportunity in tragedy, that Benjamin.

I’ve found that Christmas music this year has been a nice reprieve from - “all my friends are heathens. Take it slow...”- which continues to inundate the airwaves.

Soon...

Sorry if this is superficial and weird, but her hair looks good. We could have had a President with normal fucking hair.