The actual Tomsula Index is a list of businesses that will let you use their bathroom without having to buy anything. 

I remember waiting for my mom at the bottom of a slide at Action Park, and when she hit the pool, her tits flew out.  So, my scars were only emotional.

What idiot called it Jalen wanting to leave the Jaguars and not Ramsey Boltin’?

I think that ‘fake news’ and the media being Bernie’s enemy is hyperbole BUT if people honestly believe that the media gives Bernie and his platform equal time and respect as other candidates and that it doesn’t take part in bad faith arguments about him and his platform i would say they are ignoring it or just don’t…

Agreed, he most definitely IS worth a shit.

*Closes laptop thoughtfully, wipes away a tear, considers life for a moment, reopens laptop, types away furiously*

84th minute? Usually Bolts in Jamaica are much faster.

This was a softball that any competent candidate would have knocked out of the park and yet Biden demonstrated just how incapable he is of even remembering to say the right things when it matters. Whether it’s on healthcare or climate change, Biden at best sounds like he is exhausted and at worst like diet Trump.

While I respect Biden’s career-long strategy of affably standing near more accomplished people (it’s my only skill as well and works great!), you have to recognize that it does not prepare you to lead. The softening of his brain seems to have made him forget the point of it all.

> I was too scared of them

At least you flushed something.

After I left the hospital, I got prescribed Percocet—a mixture of oxycodone and acetaminophen. But I never took the pills, because they scared me to death.

“Youppi-shaped torso” FTW 

I’m sorry but I refuse to have Youppi! shamed in comparison with Donald fucking Trump.

Lawrence really should be careful. Things like that can have repercussions later on in life.

Which would you really rather have when you grow up?

And if you want to stay that way, remember to vote so Andrew Scheer doesn’t win this October.

I love a good slider.

It’s been litigated here ad nauseum, yet bears repeating: Jim and Pam were fucking bullies and self-absorbed shitbirds who tried to excuse their behavior by victim blaming their choice of targets. Dwight and Angela are the real heart and soul of that office, and it was nice to see them get their happily ever after…

My gf and i regularly play ‘guess who these tv show characters would vote for in real life’ and i maintain that literally everyone on The Office except for Oscar (maybe) would be full on QAnon/trump supporters.