No way does a storm trooper actually throw a pitch into the strike zone.

-1 Death Star.

Reminds me of the old joke
Q: How are the beers at Estadio Azteca like having sex in a canoe?
A: They’re both fucking close to water. Ultimately it’s an unfulfilling experience that leaves no one happy

Oh, man, Coors is gonna be in so much trouble!

Kinda gotta respect the little slap/hat steal move.  Guy saw his opportunity and took it.  

Based on what he says, if any of that sweat is on his back he is gonna get deported.

This is a beautiful love note to a city that is so hard to understand at times. This paragraph in particular I think resonates with anyone who returns to where they grew up:

While I admit I came here for the snarky sports commentary, these long form essays about the influence of sports on culture have been a real find.

I agree this is a dumb take on him, but as a single issue candidate he’s probably just gunning for an appointed position, maybe head of the EPA or Interior Sec. And we need people who are focused on the environment in said positions, because fuckers like Pruitt are legit just trying to make a few bucks before they and…

There are no consequences for making memes out of candidates! None! Marianne mentioned reparations and FLINT! We could all learn from her.

Never thought I’d see a pro-gun take on Deadspin.

There’s a reason your average sportswriter becomes a bitter, cynical asshole, and not in the fun, Ratto-esque way

CTRL-F “frisbee dogs”

Trout is also a great addition to any breakfast plate. 

Eggs Benedict with fresh salmon under the egg.

shouldn’t this be posted to Splinter?

Fireworks manufacturers think “Air Max 1 Quick Strike Fourth of July” is over the top.

100 bucks says Kawhi has Drake saved in his phone as Aubrey Graham

Giancarlo, si può stoparlo!

Why were they interviewing post-bender mark Zuckerberg about barstool sports