Jeets gave out a lotta gift baskets.

When I was a thinner man, I used to love Lance’s Captain’s Wafers. These would be your buttery category. They aren’t easy to get everywhere, though, so this past birthday — unprovoked — my brother bought me some. By “some,” I mean a box of 500 fucking two-packs of crackers, of which I made it through about 150. I…

If I’m shopping with my girlfriend, I find the best thing to do is to try to help her out. See, if I let her shop by herself, she’ll take an hour to find a pair of shoes and then not even get them. If I try to help, she’ll get so fed up with with me picking out terrible shoes for her that she’ll just give up and say…

I’d be okay with it, but those maniacs had to change the color of the damn bird. Now you’re playing God.

“Maybe if we wear red Odor won’t know who to destroy.”

Oh, a Blue Jays post? Don’t mind if I do.

“My” tax dollars don’t pay the shitty citizen. I have a lot less (theorhetical) control over him.

If that were the case someone would have mentioned smelling Marijuana. Might be hard for some people to accept but it is exactly what it looks like. Walking while black.

Emailed this to the mayor to see if he is in the business of putting up travelers-

Number one if you’re a dude that lives in Tyler, TX and you don’t know who the Tyler Rose aka Earl Campbell is you’re a fucking dolt.

What was it Robert Frost said? “Good fences make good neighbors unless your neighbor is black in which case fuck that guy,” I think it was.

If you took all the race descriptors away, no one would have lied about him being in anyone’s yard.

#TimeCopLivesMatter

You’re underselling the “famous one” part.

#TimeLivesMatter

That poor man, I hope he’s okay. What an ordeal — I mean, there was a black guy right by his fence!

he decided to go for a walk in the woods near his hotel to kill time.

“This is bullshit!”

Dealing with grief is a 12-step process. Fortunately, Westbrook took 5 whole steps tonight.