why would you just assume wolves can’t read?

“i’ve studied the wolf. he can’t read. Ever see a wolf reading Fighting Arian Foster For Dummies? No. Have you seen me reading a Fighting Wolves For Dummies? No, because I don’t want them to know I know.”

Oh, no. Now the Padres won’t be very good.

Whose Disgusting Baseball Delivery is This?

[David Price meets with Dr. Andrews at the combine]

I’ve asked this before, but when did it become no longer a thing where Nazis are the definitive bad buys? I mean I grew up watching Indiana Jones & Captain America punch Nazis in the face and everyone cheered. How is this a thing?

then they’d boot him for being a damned Papist.

Not wrong

Now that we know this was the motivation, that press conference has turned out to be some real monkey’s paw shit.

And by the way, if I may add, that was a very “professional” blog entry. Very professional. Now sit down.

The President would, however, like you to set up a meeting with the Congressional Beard Caucus. They’re friends of yours, right Albert?

Dime Bags Two For One

Bentley Choadenheimer: Thank you, Sean Spicer for being one of the greatest, um, Conserv..., I mean a living legend and um, a legend of conservativism and um, just thanks for being on the show and... 

Later he gets the rebound. Passes it to the man. Shoots it. And boom goes the dynamite.

War and War

My favorite verse in the Bible is the one where Jesus says to his followers:

he was a thief

War, man. Waaa-aaa-aaa-aaar, MAN!

I’m torn. I’m a veteran of the 1st Iraq Shit Show and the Cold War. I didn’t join out of patriotism, I was in a crappy small town and I wanted out. It worked. Being the military actually MADE me a Liberal. (Kind of hard to hate people for the color of their skin when you share a life with them, hard to hate…