Fallon bends over forwards.

Meh. It was an overhand lateral followed by a forward pass, hence the colloquialism “double pass”. This is some weak highlight trutherism.

This is the ultimate in “Wrote Too Soon/Posted Anyway”

It reminds me of Vince Young overcoming the twenty-WR-screens-per-game offense of Greg Davis to scorch a pretty stout USC defense. Here’s to hoping you get to play for a significantly less shitty NFL coach than Jeff Fisher, DeShaun.

If Clemson had lost, one could have fairly looked at the last five minutes as if they were intentionally trying to lose it, from the pooch kickoff to the 35 to the “hey look at that guy” tackling on Hurts’ TD run to the “maybe we’ll get in field goal range” 2-minute drill. Thank God that good players (Vince Young,…

So you had this written before Clemson scored and then decided to slightly amend it and publish it anyways, right?

Giri, I think you misread. It was a traditional German wedding, which involved goatse.

Timing plus italicizations equals comedy is how I imagine the saying goes.

I’d start with when you get punched in the face and they fall down.

Short and sweet is the way to go with retirement statements. For instance, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had the occasion to use “You can’t fire me — I quit!”

“I won’t be seeing you much anymore, Mr. Goodell, but you’re always invited to come by and mow my lawn.”

-SSSr

That right there, where he is fielding, is one of the scariest and most dangerous positions in sports. Traditionally pawned off on a young rookie or assumed in demonstrative masculine fashion by a real manly mans man.

It’s called silly point. Point being the name of the section of the field the batsmen is traditionally…

He better tell some damn lies and make sure that shit works.

Wow he caught that wicket* right in his wicket*

/crickets

Go find this guy, break in to his house some night, and wake him up while holding a baseball bat above his head. Tell him you don’t quit on baseball now thanks to him. And then kill him.

I have long hair for a dude. The other day, I ate at a Chinese restaurant and had a little piece of food stuck between a couple of molars that was bothering the hell out of me and I had forgotten to grab a toothpick. I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled out a strand of hair and used it—successfully—as floss.

A new papal encyclical posits that New Jersey is an acceptable substitute, penance-wise, for purgatory.

Cars are also meant to be loved and well maintained.