Little does the governor know that an all-Texas ALCS is the signal for Jade Helm to begin.

Russell Wilson: Bro, I just hope it’s not cocaine. I hear that stuff’s cut with baby laxative.

Tim Tebow: Seeing as her pregnancy’s just starting to show, I guess “baby powder”.

This right here. It should also be noted that the players that are failing to play regularly in Europe aren’t failing to play at the biggest clubs. They’re failing to get in regular play on some middling English and continental sides.

That one white guy had no idea who he was. Fucking A-Aron

That guy’s all class, win or ‘ludes.

If Scorsese directs, DiCaprio is going to be great in this, too.

Here's to hoping that Fournette makes the decision to sit out next year, if only for the hawt taeks alone.

While we’re at it, the NFL should adopt the rouge. Then we can have games that end with this (though hopefully less Marc Trestman):

I’m sure, as a Republican politican, Jeff Flake has also been an asshole at some point about something...but god damn, he deserves praise on calling out this waste of money.

...and didn’t get penalized

Do negative thoughts enter his mind when the Seahawks are making him look foolish in the Super Bowl?

After what I saw last night, Kurt Cousins, I say, has the weakest arm in the NFL.

Agree. Plus, sports in general are much more mental at the higher levels than they are for people who quit competing in high school.

You know who else was a frisky, “small” QB that early in his career was constantly yo-yo’d on and off the bench? Drew Brees.

I think that VW should compensate the American public by bringing over the GTD and the Amarok. It’s only fair.

This is going to make for an extra confusing week in Indy when Jim Irsay keeps asking his players if they’re holding.

[Miami Herald Reporter]: And you’re saying he went off script and that caused a lot of the problems?

Can anyone explain why they keep trying to put Manning under the center and not in a no huddle offense? Wasn’t the question of whether or not this works answered years ago? So long as you aren’t in the post season you should be set.