I dropped a POLSCI class because of a raving lunatic of a professor. He stated in, so many words, on the first day that if we weren’t conservative men, we’d have a hard time passing. I, stupidly, took that as a challenge. We had to write a paper on a sitting member of congress. I chose Ted Kennedy because fuck this…

Oh, man. Did she never work as a classroom teacher? The hottest spot in hell should be reserved for administrators who have never taught but are giant experts in how it’s done.

I once cried after my my Dad told me Spider Solitaire was “pretty complicated.” I asked him what game he was playing on the computer and “Spider Solitaire and it’s pretty complicated” was his completely benign reply. I interpreted it as him calling me stupid, which is my Achilles heel with my family*.

When I worked in the library at my school, I had to provide math help for a group of fifth grade students. I spent a lot of time working on it and thinking about how to help these guys improve their math skills. I created this program that involved three learning centers where they worked on math online,…

Pregnant. About a month ago we went to our nephew’s marching band competition and I literally spent the entire time trying not to cry because I was so impressed by these high school kids who I do not even know. Kept it together though! Then the next morning I was telling my SIL how truly impressive I thought the kids…

I went to go see Tarzan in theatres. It was my first movie theatre experience and I was like, three. Phil Collins started singing You’ll Be In My Heart, and I started crying and stood up in my high chair-clad seat and yelled, “A gorilla will never be in my heart! Jesus is the only thing in my heart!”

When I was in my first trimester with my daughter, my boss said something moderately critical to me at 8:30 a.m. and I proceeded to cry until about 3:00. I couldn’t stop. I splashed cold water on my face, I gave myself stern talking-tos in the ladies’ room. I even called my best friend and made her tell me jokes.…

My dad had a mustache when I was a baby. Apparently, I didn’t trust clean faces. I refused to let any man without a mustache hold me (I would scream and cry) but ANY man with a mustache could hold me as much as he wanted.

Oh, that would be yesterday. (I’ve had plenty of others in my life, but have assiduously managed to forget them.)

OH I’ve been there with the bad food cry. When you spend SO MUCH TIME on something that turns out shitty... ugh, that sucks.

That happened to me! I was 10, but I came downstairs on a Sunday morning, and he was on the phone with his back turned to me. After a few moments, he turned around, I saw his bare face, started screaming and ran up to my room in hysterics.

On my 16th birthday, I failed my driver’s test. I spent two hours crying horrible, ugly tears on my bathroom floor. Snot everywhere, completely a wreck, it was the most I’ve ever cried in my life. I refused to let my parents talk any sense into me, I was convinced my life had ended. I was not the type of kid who…

1. I was in college and making tuna melts for my roommates and me. I burned the shit out of them and burst out crying and scrunched up on the floor because I was a failure. My one roommate gave me a hug while the other stayed far away (she is not a hugger).

Everytime I cried during the first month of my pregnancy. Watching the sochi Olympics I bawled my eyes out at the bird dancers. Couldn’t stop. Then I cried again because a bobsledder finally won a gold at her final Olympics. They are just so many examples but those were the dumbest.

I hate that so much. You really want to make a point, but instead you get so frustrated you end up crying and looking silly. 👿

My Polish boyfriend’s family has a very sweet Christmas Eve tradition where, before they eat dinner, everyone goes around the table to everyone else and singularly wishes them well for the holiday and the new year. This was new for me so I was a little teary from the get. So his 7-year-old nephew got to me and said,…

I was walking down the street recently, and stopped at an intersection. A helicopter flew overhead, kind of low and I burst into tears. Everyone stared.

Had a boss making things awful for our department. He was such a cancer. Anyway, he’d do stuff like change our schedules to times he knew we couldn’t work, to denying emergency day off requests, slashing our hours, gossip about who had nice asses... A mean, vindictive bro. Anyway, I’d been appointed to talk to him to…

First day of class last semester. Decided to talk to the professor afterwards because if he was going to run the class the way he did that day for the rest of the semester I was going to have to excuse myself and drop. Instead anxiety got the best of me and I got onto like a 10 minute spiel about racism and then…

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you only put 21 pills in the box and let users sort out the 7-day stretch for themselves. That way, they’re all the same and you can take them in whatever order you want.