I never thought I'd say this (because I'm one of the few not rooting for her to regain her career) but this genuinely made me feel sorry for Lindsay. There is nothing more embarrassing than having your card declined.

He has always seemed like the skeeviest skeeze.

I'm really unclear on this whole notion of a thing you chose to do because it felt good at the time being your worst nightmare. I mean, when I was pregnant I would have nightmares that I forgot I was pregnant and got off-my-ass drunk, or (one terrible night) that I was about to give birth and suddenly remembered that…

I know, right? Mary Jo Eustace is probably having a cocktail and laughing her ass off at Ms. Spelling for actually thinking it wouldn't happen to her, too.

My old university had a rule, no students allowed in the opposite gender's dorm after hours or you will be expelled. So obviously, every night when the moon came out, I became a dorm hopping ninja. That night I was sitting in my smokingly fine boyfriend's room, reading a book on his futon (I know, lame). When suddenly…

"The LA Times then flesh out this story be recounting the day of the murder, when the couple, who met in AA, went on a bender to cope with being evicted, all after Shannon lost her job and mobile home, while Chip had just gotten out of prison."

I was giving my husband a BJ and suddenly he got the giggles. I look over and here are my 2 cats just staring at me. Yes, I fuck in front of my pets because if I keep the door closed, they'll just paw and head butt the door, which ruins sexy times even more. Apparently, not only were my pervy cats watching us, but…

Yeah. My first thought was how awful it was for those kids and what monsters these women were. My second thought was about the effect this would have on future adoptions in California.

thanks for making every adoption agency and rightwing jerkoff think every same-sex couple who wants to adopt will do this, ladies! thanks a FUCKING LOT.

Is Happy Saturday REALLY the way to finish that when the last line is "his death is being treated as a possible suicide". I asked my cat.... but he just smiled....

It's funny cuz by pointing out how Lily ALlen is being mean to women, by pointing out how mean they are, it's kinda proving her point...
The endless cycle continues.

"...as more and more women choose to take control over their deliveries."

Maybe I am too jaded, but I think the U.S. is full of people who would be against paying $.11 more so people could have health insurance. And the fact that the whole "people deserve health insurance" thing is government-mandated makes it sufficiently worse that a lot of these people would be willing to overlook the…

I'm not that fat. Well, sort of. Okay. I am. But that's just mean.

So basically it boils down to, I'm uncool because I wear Lands End because I like it, and they're cool because they wear Lands End because of layers upon layers of irony.

I didn't give you permission to use my likeness.

When has being a wife and mother stopped anyone from indulging in their love of coke?

I feel like Paula will never be able to separate herself from this not just because she is racist but because she is obsessed with race. She can't help herself. She could have just said "that gay football player" as that is actually something of note that distinguishes him from other members of the NFL. I mean…

I'm pretty sure Seth Rogen's Alzheimer's speech is more important than all of the other stories on this page. On another note I can't be the only one tired of Blue Ivy and her pretentious parents's life of excess.

I'm assuming that Maude Apatow is someone to do with Judd Apatow but I dunno; the only thing I could think of when seeing these tweets was this