I made it clear that my sister wasn't invited to ours, and she sent me a "hope you're happy" email the morning of and I was just like "yep."

Me too.

Why even bother? Just make sure you pointedly dis-invite her.

Bravo, but, to be fair, plenty of trans people do not consider themselves to have been born a man or a woman or whatever. Gender is a social construct. I was born a baby who developed a gender identity between 3-5, and it was girl. A very recent study (and I need to write about it) confirms that transgender children…

The only thing that can stop a bad toddler with a gun is a good toddler with a gun.

Although I'm sure he gives nary a fuck what I think, Suge Knight is a lawless asshole who needs to be confined in such a manner that no one else is assaulted, murdered or inconvenieced.

Kitchenette's new tag line should be "GLUTEN... IT'S CARCASS FREE!"

Thanks, Colin. You have officially ruined Jewish Christmas!

I call those people the Oprah- dieters. They saw Oprah do a segment on gluten intolerance and now can't bear the slightest bit of gluten, they'll go out of their way to demand the restaurant provide a gluten-free dinner and then will chow down on apple pie or chocolate cake for desert while waiters are left pondering…

I'm white and I don't even know who David Sedaris is. Glad you broke up with that guy! I am impressed by the thoughtful gifts you got for him and his family, you deserve better!

HE LOOKS LIKE A WEE BABY WINSTON CHURCHILL

I didn't have any pictures of me, but here is my son, dressed as Minnie Mouse, with the microphone he is planning on spending the rest of his life with. #loveislove

I think it's okay to have a preference for dicks that are not small and further I don't really give a rat's what your penis thinks about small boobs or the fact that this was posted on Jez and there is no counterpart about gaping vaginas. Women are told by everyone and their mother both directly and indirectly that…

if you've got a host on your side, have your enemy only sat with tables full of kids, skip her three times, then triple seat her so on and so forth. watch her frustration. laugh.

I'd say just do the same thing back- accidents happen!!

Team Cat Headquarters here,

Eat garlic, like, roast it and spread it on slices of french bread. Nothing will ever top the evil and noxious emissions that result from that.

Overtipping is the silent apology that we're offering for a mutant in our dining party. Whenever we're out with my FIL, we overtip to compensate for his behavior. (Much like we had to do when my son was first learning to feed himself, but he was still pleasant, just messy!)

a frog who ate 30 rocks.

We dropped a couple cases of cat food on them. We got our tuxedos at that shelter, so we want to help them in some way. And let's face it; tuxedo cats are a pretty awesome presence in ones home. If you're local to the Bay Area, the Marin Humane Society, up off of Bel Marin Keys in Novato, could really use a hand…