Yay for social work. Just finished my qualification. Very intrigued to see how its different in the US.

DISSENTING OPINION: I remain convinced Gaston is one of those dudes with a tragically enormous dick, who thinks that his huge schlong means he has to do zero work in the sack. He just bumps your cervix for five minutes then rolls over and congratulates himself for being such a superior cocksman.

Snap.

Tshirt idea: I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LIFE OR QUALITY OF YOUR BONER.

Fuck Fuck Fuck a Duck
Screw a Kangaroo
Fingerbang an Orangutan
At Your Local Zoo.
- Old Russian Nursery Rhyme

When someone comes out with a song called, "Who Cares If You Are Beautiful?" I will get excited.

Because American evangelism is a political movement, not a religious one. And accepting gay marriage is increasingly politically expedient, religious dogma be damned.

I don't disagree — it's just a difficult conversation to have because the answer can't simply be "servers get a flat hourly wage." It doesn't work. Now, servers getting a % of their sales model, on the other hand...

If you cannot afford the tip, then you cannot afford to eat there.

put some damn novelty sunglasses on that thing as a parting gift

Speaking as someone who owns several guns, including the kind that some politicians want to ban along with their magazines, I'm all for this PSA. If you have children in your house you need to keep them from accessing your firearms. For the past few years, mine have been stored in a closet. However, my wife is…

I don't get how people are offended at see as much boobage as they would see in a bikini top, but only on one side, and with a blob of frickin' adorable poop-machine attached. Breast feeding, to the best of my knowledge, does not involve stripping to the waist and shimmying the milk in the baby's general direction.

the "bare minimum standards of human decency" also include not using terms like "pencil dick" as a slur.

You mean "kitten with a disability." People first language please.

If buttsex is so unnatural, then why is poop dick-shaped?

Is this where I "gloat" that being fat has made any up-skirt photos of me a useless venture? If I'm not wearing tights or shorts under my skirt or dress, my thighs touch practically to the knee. Unless I do a spread eagle you're not getting a eyeful of anything except thigh-flesh.

They were too distracted by the skirts to remember the difference between "sit," "roll over" and "eat the principal." On reflecting, they probably shouldn't have been taught that last command in the first place, but the vice-principal insisted.

There were at least four guys at my high school prom who went Full Scott for their formal wear, one of those wore a similar get up for graduation. Then the school descended into utter chaos as a dragon rose up from beneath the auditorium stage and devoured the principal who allowed such abomination to continue. …

What, no Iggy Pop yet?

Fuck "losing" her invite in the mail. Don't invite that bitch at all and if she asks why, tell her so!