I used to work at a restaurant with famously amazing BLTs. They used fried green tomatoes and a garlic aioli and it was really just awesome. Some lady came in once and ordered the BLT but with no vegetables and plain mayo, on white bread instead of whatever it normally came on.

“So you just want bacon and mayo?”
“Yeah.”
“…

I kind of take offense to the idea that I’m not suitable for marriage/long-term partnership/whatever because I’m 31 and probably two years away from marrying my boyfriend (who is about to turn 34). In point of fact I’m in a much better place emotionally and financially to get married now than I was at any point in my…

I’m actually really, really, really okay with Komen losing funding.

Not sure if I’m getting the right message from this or not but I definitely want to blow shit up now.

All Liberty staff and students were required to go the Ted Cruz event, hence the high turnout. Otherwise, probably not many people would have been there.

Last summer I was finishing off a lunch shift and things were pretty dead when this woman walked in with her five-ish year old boy. She has a water bottle, like just a bottle of Aquafina or whatever, which isn’t totally weird, because it’s summer in Virginia (ergo, 100000 degrees out with 98% humidity). She orders a…

I bring a host(ess) gift when I’m going to someone’s house for the first time, period, end of story. Pretty much the only other time I do it is for a holiday party, regardless of how often I’ve been to the home. Also, whenever I meet members of my SO’s family for the first time (or spend the night with them, however…

To be honest, this is probably the most exciting thing ever to happen to Lake Elsinore.

I want a bouquet of knitted flowers, because I can make one for practically nothing out of yarn I already have and my favorite flowers won’t be in season the time of year I hope to have the wedding. Also no one will get hurt when I throw it. Win/win.

I watched the whole first season. Honestly the only good joke was Xan’s middle name. The rest was just unbearably twee.

This is why I’ve been trying to talk Mr. Brotherjo into a cat now that we’re moving into a bigger apartment. All three of us (me, the mister, and Puppeh-jo) have been coping with anxiety and depression, and another bundle of cuddly fluff would most assuredly help with that.

Friend of mine had a kid-friendly wedding and hired a sitter for the reception. The sitter “forgot” the date and double-booked, so in order to come do her job she had to bring three other kids with her. So then my friend was on the hook for three complete strangers plus all the other little darlings running around.…

A few years ago my sister treated me to really expensive tickets to a fancy sit-down show where the dress code was cocktail or better. This was high-class shit. The couple sitting next to me talked (quietly, but audibly) through every song, like they were listening to the radio instead of enjoying a rare opportunity…

Except for those of us who aren’t allowed to check our phones at work or in class...

I’ve done it twice, both to people I had only seen a few times. In neither case did I value the relationship enough to put in the effort for a proper goodbye. Je ne regrette rien.

I have a friend who lives in California and is dangerously allergic to vaccines. Like, she legit almost died when she got her first round as an infant. So she’s never been vaccinated other than that. When she applied to grad school in the Bay Area, she had to provide proof of vaccinations or apply for an exemption.…

In my experience, paid sites aren’t worth the money. I had nothing but bad experiences on JDate and Match. By contrast, I’ve had three long-term relationships come from OkCupid, and I’m very likely going to marry the one I’m with now.

The one girl I knew from high school who was the most conservative, the most anti-sex, the most anti-abortion, etc...was visibly pregnant at her wedding. I wonder how she squared that with god.

I ghosted someone once after three mediocre dates, and then THREE MONTHS LATER he wrote me this long horrifying screed ending with “I hope you get raped!”

So. Dodged a bullet there.

My dad says that traditionally Jewish couples aren’t considered engaged until each has given the other a gift bought from their own money. Usually it’s a ring and a watch. I have brought this up with Mr. Brotherjo before, because it’s pretty clear we’re gonna get married at some point in the next few years. However,…