The last place I worked at fried shellfish in the same oil as french fries. ONE TIME I had a kid with a severe shellfish allergy ask me if that was the case, and that’s how I found that out. I shudder to think how many people allergic to shellfish thought they were safe getting a burger and fries.

The lesson here is:…

I got a new prescription for generic BC yesterday. Took it to the grocery store pharmacy and it’s all of a sudden $40/month cash (I don’t have insurance). It used to be $15. Le sigh. Thankfully I have a partner who’s willing to split the cost, but that’s still a big chunk of change for us.

First thing I do when I get…

I am currently eating a box of Kraft (not store brand, I splurged!) in protest of this tomfoolery.

Back when I was a server (making $2.15 plus tips) I had a manager close out a tab I opened under her employee code. It was an auto-gratted check and the guy paid by credit card, so I never saw one penny of that tip. Immediately after she closed the check I ran a server report that showed I never got the tip, and…

Things you need to know in order to grok this story:

When I was a teenager we had a red tabby named Squeaky, and I have many fond memories of watching my mom make her bed while Squeaky helped.

A reason I probably should marry Mr. Brotherjo:

Why hello you beautiful person you.

Also, depending on where you live, the application process is a nightmare basically designed for failure. I'm an educated, intelligent person and I could not make heads or tails of the Virginia SNAP application last time I needed it. And that is 100% on purpose.

If you get a degree in social work, you will be beat over the head with all of these things, I promise.

I wish. She was actually dumb as a brick and flightier than a canary.

I knew a girl in college who briefly dated/fucked the lead singer of Cake. She was not yet 21, he was...much older. This was around 2005-6, assuming she was telling the truth, and who knows.

Every time I go to Subway, or really any place where I can get pickles, I ask for "lots of pickles, please." The guys at my local Subway are pretty awesome and will usually throw a big ol' handful on there for me and I never get charged for it. I guess they don't care as much about inventory.

Saw the guy I thought was my boyfriend making out with his cousin at junior prom.

I love my religion (I am not orthodox, but was raised very conservative). I am mortified right now.

I haven’t had to deal with much soft sexism at work, luckily. That being said, I used to go to a shooting range with an ex-boyfriend, and every time we would go to the counter to rent a rifle or get more bullets or whatever, the clerk would only talk to my ex. Even if I was the person renting and paying. I would ask…

My last name is Persian and there's no way to make it into an English pun, so what's the point of even having a last name I ask you?

Got food poisoning, spent 6 hours getting IV fluids and not puking, went to the store for Gatorade, puked all over the dairy aisle. And the pharmacy, and the bathroom sinks.

I missed three days of work, two because puking and the third because I got incredibly gassy. I spent about 12 hours belching and farting loud…

I pulled one really good prank on my family in 2010. My mom still hasn't forgiven me. Since I can't top it, I'll never do April Fool's again.

Mr. Brotherjo gets enthusiastic blowies on the regular. My only rule is he can't climax in my mouth or on/near my face. As long as he's okay with that, I'll blow him all the livelong day if he wants. And if I want to get off, but it's not happening with his equipment, I'm perfectly capable of using my own hand. He is…