That is not entirely incorrect.

You don't want to be a red hat lady. They hold meetings at restaurants and stay for hours and hours, running their servers ragged with stupid demands ("I SAID I WANTED SPLENDA." "There's some at the other end of the table." "BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY HERE."), and they always order the cheapest thing on the menu or…

I'm in a degree program that requires field work to graduate. My application got fucked up (not my fault) and two weeks before the start of my senior year, I had no placement. I flipped out and emailed everyone in the department administration from the dean on down. I got no less than 5 separate emails promising me…

Here's how I plan to save money when Mr. Brotherjo and I get hitched:

My dad threatened not to go to my oldest sister's wedding because he thought she spent too much on flowers.

This happened about two miles from where I live. I've been to weddings in this botanical park. It's so weird to me that good news from Richmond is making national headlines.

The next county over from me here in Central Virginia is Goochland County, named for Sir William Gooch, who was a mucky-muck in the 1700s.

My dad once told me that in Judaism, it's traditional for each member of the couple to give each other something bought from their own money. Usually it's a ring for her and a watch for him (my dad didn't mention non-hetero couples). I like that better than a ring and a gun.

It's starting to look like me and Mr. Brotherjo are gonna get hitched at some point in the vague indefinite future. I've made it pretty clear that any proposal is going to happen quietly and privately in our own home. Maaaaybe in front of my family (if certain family members aren't present) if he proposes, or in front…

I might be drooling a little bit.

I once accidentally stepped on a customer's service dog. The poor thing was resting politely under a table, but I moved out of someone's way without looking and got his toe. He yelped, I apologized profusely, the customer was extremely gracious, and I almost cried. I could not imagine how I would react to kicking a…

When I was a kid I had cats and played violin. I could always tell when the highest-pitch string was out of tune because one of the cats would shriek and run out of the room. Everyone's a critic.

I'm Jewish, and I once found myself talking to two annoying hippy Gentiles who had had a Jewish wedding. I looked at them and asked them why they thought it was okay to fetishize my culture. They didn't have an answer, and, shockingly, I never saw them again. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

My wedding invites are going to be sent by email and will contain a link to a Google form. No way am I going through the hassle of paper if I can help it. I am lazy and cheap.

Me and the dude are a little tipsy and we started reading reviews of the strip clubs in our city. None of the reviews are all that funny. :-(

I live in a majority-minority city. A former roommate of mine, who was white, became a teacher to "help all those poor minority kids." Who she hated. I don't know how I managed not to slap her in the face every day.

I live in a majority-minority city. A former roommate of mine, who was white, became a teacher to "help all those poor minority kids." Who she hated. I don't know how I managed not to slap her in the face every day.

I live in a majority-minority city. A former roommate of mine, who was white, became a teacher to "help all those poor minority kids." Who she hated. I don't know how I managed not to slap her in the face every day.

I would not mind if my partner learned how to cook more than the 5 things he currently makes. Those 5 things are spectacular, but...

A few months ago I was out to dinner with my parents and a friend in a diner in rural western Virginia. We all ordered sodas. Mine, as it turns out, had to have the syrup changed. This took so long that the server had to come over and tell me on three separate occasions that they hadn't done it yet. I finally gave up…