I work at the kind of restaurant that hosts fancy parties quite often. I'm totally okay with accommodating an allergy, religious restriction, or reasonable dietary whatever. I don't want to kill anyone or get them in trouble with their god. But like...be nice about it.

A few weeks ago a large family came in for…

I love books so much I'm dating a librarian. He doesn't do much with the public but he has some interesting stories.

I'm 30 and I've been hoping my parents would split up since I was 5 or so. They almost did, once, when I was 22, but mom went back to him after a couple weeks. I probably would be a lot more successful at relationships if I didn't have to witness my dad emotionally destroying my mom every day of my childhood. Thus,…

I had minor surgery a few years ago and my sister's cat slept by my side the whole time I was recovering at her house. He's my bestest buddy and very likely the great love of my life.

The current Mr. Brotherjo's dog prefers cuddling with me when she can choose between us. When I'm upset or hurt she can usually be found…

YOU ARE A BAD PERSON.

I can't wait to see stories about revenge on other servers.

My first Christmas with my first serious boyfriend, I went all out. I got him a one-year membership in a local nonprofit he was a fan of, knitted his mom an alpaca scarf, and made boxes and boxes of homemade goodies for the rest of his family. We had been together for nearly a year at that point.

Speaking in my capacity as a person who has had more wrist surgeries than she has wrists, I would guess Miley had a ganglion cyst removed. When I had mine done the surgeon showed me pictures of the inside of my wrists afterward. It was kinda cool.

Yeah, I definitely went through a give-no-fucks phase when it came to relationships of all kinds earlier this year. Had some interesting adventures, not all of them good, but it paid off in the end. I recommend it for everyone.

I moved from one coast to another alone when I was 22. Eight years later, I still adore my friends from the other coast, but it's hard to care about them when none of them has ever tried or even considered coming to visit me (I only blame the ones who can afford it, because JFC if you can take 4 months to wander…

I lost my virginity to a Republican who later married a woman he had only met twice.

Eight years ago I was in a car accident that was fatal for one person involved.

Four years ago I had to skip my best childhood friend's wedding because I got mono (I was 26) and was unable to work or really leave my bed for a month.

Yesterday my 8-year-old nephew had to go to the ER for several hours.

Pass the rum,…

My sweetheart married young and separated at 32 after 11 years together. The paperwork is almost final. When I mention this to friends, they give me weird looks - why do I want to be with someone so broken? - never realizing that the personality traits he has that allowed him to be in such a long relationship so early…

I wait tables, so bad tippers are definitely out.

Bill Cosby sexually harassed my sister in front of her husband and a restaurant full of diners in 2001. I doubt she'd ever come forward to tell her story, but I know it's true. She's been telling that story since it happened, way before any of this was public knowledge.

(Without giving away too many identifying details…

...Is this guy 17?

The other day me and Mr. Brotherjo drank an entire 22oz bottle of Ace Pineapple in about 10 minutes, passing it back and forth on the couch. It is amaaaaazing.

I DON'T KNOW. The focus of the restaurant is on local products, so I would understand if we didn't have any good local cider, but we totally do. There's a fabulous cidery less than 10 miles from the restaurant and dozens more around the state. I don't care for beer or wine, so when I go out, it's cider I'm after. :-/

The restaurant I work at is attached to a specialty store. The restaurant for some stupid reason decided not to carry hard cider anymore, despite the availability of several delightful local varieties that have been very popular since the place opened. The store has cider. Recently an older couple and their adult…

I have tried so hard to like Ariana Grande but I literally cannot understand a single word she sings. It all sounds like inarticulate yodeling. Someone needs to teach her to enunciate.