It was only like $2 extra to do vegan cheese. And if people were chill, I usually didn't even bother with the upcharge, since it was more or less up to our discretion. Jerks get charged more. Save money. Be nice.

This happened in my city. I'm not even remotely surprised.

Obnoxious vegan couple comes in, orders a pizza, they get upcharged for vegan cheese because they're obnoxious, they throw a shitfit, manager gives them a discount waaaaay higher than the upcharge, they tip about 5%. And they wondered why I refused to serve them the next time they came in.

I was a freshman in high school when Columbine happened. The school had an open campus spread over 7 acres and I remember being terrified every time I had to walk through a space between buildings because obviously there were snipers in the windows. Gah.

I worked at a bar last summer, not in DC. Accessible bathroom was upstairs near the kitchen, all the others were downstairs. First Friday they were open, I saw a guy go into the accessible restroom, followed a minute or two later by a woman. She emerged very shortly thereafter - either too soon for either of them to…

Not really social media, but.

About 6 years ago, when I was the terrible combination of young, dumb, and depressed, I got a message from a guy on OkCupid. He didn't have a picture up, which should have been my first clue, but our conversations were pretty fun and when he asked me to coffee I agreed.

We met, it was…

The first time I read One Hundred Years of Solitude, it made me sad I didn't understand Spanish well enough to read it without translation, because the version I had was so unimaginably beautiful and I knew the original had to be even better.

That ad has always given me pantsfeels. He is a sexy sexy person.

The Mars Trilogy.

At first I was all Ouch! And then I couldn't stop giggling.

Naw, she's not worth the postage.

I am currently planning an act of revenge that I may not be able to implement for years, and possibly never. But I love thinking about it.

I have never gotten along with one of my sisters. She's a foul, loathsome person with no soul to speak of, whose capacity for joy, empathy, and happiness is non-existent. She got…

I had an awful roommate once who basically abandoned me with his incontinent, not-neutered dog for a few months. A couple of days before he finally came home I used his robe to mop up one of the pup's smells-worse-than-death accidents, and then hung it back up on the hook like usual. To my knowledge he used the robe…

I have dated men who had both big dicks and big guns. Just sayin'.

I went to high school with the woman who played the daughter in Not Without My Daughter. As of 12 years ago Sally Field sent her a Christmas card every year. My money's not on her, and I don't want it to be Joanna Gleason because Into the Woods.

Pretty much nailed the bros of Virginia (excluding NoVa which is a whole different terrible country no one should ever go to), except that around here they really love to play cornhole for no intelligible reason. Also, if their OkCupid profiles are to be believed, every last one plays guitar on their front porch every…

I worked at a pizza restaurant for 5 months last year. It has a gluten-free menu with about half the obscene number of toppings as the regular menu. The menu says clearly that if you order a topping that is not on that menu it will likely be contaminated with gluten. This exact thing happened to me at least twice.

Custo…

Can I audition for the role of their third? I want to marry them both in the worst way.

I DON'T KNOW but I stopped talking to a lot of people after that.

A few years ago I accidentally cut someone off on the freeway. I was in the right lane going the speed limit and he was coming up an onramp. He was going much faster than I expected so rather than get out of his way I ended up in front of him. His reaction was to try to kill me. He passed me with *maybe* 6 inches to…