I'm still mad about missionary. We suck.

I used to work at a restaurant that did not take reservations. Any. At all. Ever. No advanced seating, no putting their name down before they arrived, nada. I stopped working there 6 months ago and I still have nightmares about the number of times I had a customer yell at me for telling them that.

Also there was one…

I got green poop once as a side effect of antibiotics. The internet says it was because the pills interfered with iron absorption. *shrug*

I used to sleep with a British dude and I speak conversational posh. Let me try to translate:

"He's a working-class dude from Yorkshire who doesn't like rich people, but he's a good guy and a good soldier. He's a bro and loves messing around with the other guys - especially making fun of Medhurst for being a one…

Shower daily, wash my hair every 3 days with baking soda and vinegar. Showering every morning is NOT optional for me and may factor in to whether I decide to have children or not. I also won't date anyone who doesn't shower daily. My tolerance for BO is zero, and I'm ok with that.

My university (in Virginia, for reference), rarely closes for weather. One day last week campus closed at 4 because of a snowstorm, and once last year the campus opened at 10am, but that's it. I've walked to school in winds so strong they blew my plus-sized ass across the sidewalk, in rain that soaked me to the knee,…

He was pretty clear about his preferences before we got together. It took me some time to get used to the idea, and I'm still working through some shit, but I've gone from being skeptical of his kink to tolerating it to really fucking loving it. Someday when I'm not a very very broke student I want to buy him a big…

I showed him the article but told him to ignore the headline, the pictures, and many of the comments (so, par for the course for Jez links).

My dude would love that stuff though. A lot of cis men are into super-frilly, super-feminine play clothes.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm a woman, so...at least one.

My imaginary boyfriend Joseph Gordon-Levitt looks amazing in lingerie. He has had starring roles in my dreams more than once.

A couple years ago I was playing around in OkC's flag mod and I read a message sent by a dude who wanted to pay women to watch him fuck Swiss cheese. I really hope it's the same guy because I don't want to live in a world where there are two of them.

As a person who fucks a cross-dressing dude semi-regularly, I'm glad to see products like this available. When he's comfortable, he's happy. When he's happy, the sex is great. When the sex is great, I'm happy. QED, I should buy him a set in his favorite color.

A guy I went out with 3 times from OkCupid and ultimately rejected tried to contact me regularly for 3 months, then sent me a long, rambling, anti-Semitic, homophobic rant through the site that ended with "I hope you get raped!" I tried to get him kicked off OkCupid but at the time (and maybe this is still true?)…

My current dude stole my heart with steak. Before we started dating he would text me pictures of his dinner while I was writing papers. On our second date he cooked me a perfect rare sous vide hunk of cow. I never intend to let him go.

I could not be in a relationship with someone who didn't eat cheese. I'm tolerant of many things, but not that.

My dude and I live 2 hours apart. Money and time are tight so we don't get to see each other as often as would be ideal. We sext sometimes. I like it better than our attempts at phone sex, which just make me REALLY conscious of how ridiculous sex noises are.

So my BF/dudefriend/dude what I'm sleeping with/whatever is into dressing like a ladyperson for purposes of sexytimes. He's my princess, I'm his queen. Works for me. If the context behind this ring wasn't so fucking awful, I'd want one as a token of his affection. Thanks, creepers, now I have to cross this off my…

The one time I went to a father-daughter dance, my dad was on a business trip to another continent, as per usual. I have no older brothers and at the time I didn't have any other male relatives close by. So that night, the role of Father was played by (drum roll, please) my mom's boss's college-age son. I was juuust…

Couldn't possibly agree more. A few years ago I got really really sick and dropped like 25 pounds in a month. A few people had the gall to suggest that having a fever for 3+ weeks and sustaining possibly permanent organ damage was worth it. As a Certified Fat Person I must always be looking for ways to slim down…