As far as I can tell I can only take morphine and synthetic variants. I'm allergic to hydrocodone and oxycodone and my body treats any amount of acetaminophen as TOO GODDAMN MUCH HOLY SHIT PUKE TIME. Which is sad, because I used to be able to take Vicodin (hydrocodone + acetaminophen) and sleep for 12 hours.

My grandma always said in her next life she wanted to be a spoiled Siamese cat on a satin pillow. That's the ultimate reward for spending 70-90 years as a human.

I really wonder why the cat decided it needed to be on the fan in the first place. Is the view that much better? Was it stuck up on the cabinets and correctly decided this is one way to get down?

About a year ago I did some stuff under sedation and when I woke up it was critically important I tell the recovery room nurse about pterodactyls. She was struggling not to laugh so hard her entire face was red. I really hope I made her day.

I had minor surgery last week that required general anesthesia. When I woke up, I asked my friend if I was awake, several times. I genuinely couldn't tell. Over the weekend I got a little high on Tramadol (accidentally). My boyfriend made me lunch, which included mashed potatoes and corn. I insisted on separate spoons…

Eh, I think so? I forget.

I've seen them at Chik-Fil-A. I know we're not supposed to support them because they're homophobic etc etc but goddamn those waffle fries are good.

This never fails to make my day. :-)

I can think of no better use of Science than solving ketchup. Except that time they figured out how exactly cats drink, because that was just plain adorable.

My boyfriend had about a foot of large intestine removed a few years ago because of diverticulitis. He has some digestive issues as a result; he has to avoid spicy food and has a tendency toward really, really stinky gas. Lucky for him I've spent enough time with my three young nephews that I think farts are hilarious.

Curious to know how Schuyler is pronounced. My best guess is Skyler?

I graduated from UCSC in 2006 and we called it Cal. Or Bizzerkely, which is funny coming from the land of the banana slug...

I lived too close to San Diego for comfort. It would have meant going home every weekend, just like all the other kids in my class. No thank you.

I'm almost done with the third one. What's your point?

The one time I took it I didn't feel anything for a couple days. Physically it wasn't that bad. But everyone reacts to hormones differently.

About 7 years ago I waved my best friend goodbye when she moved from California to Japan. A couple years later I went from California to Virginia. I've been left behind and the one leaving. It sucks no matter what.

Yeah, you're not being uptight at all. If you don't want to hear her talk about her sex life, tell her so. Follow it up with "if you don't stop, I will end this conversation." If she doesn't stop, walk away. Repeat as necessary.

Clearly the universe is telling us we need to go out drinking some time when you aren't working!

Ha, like I can afford that. It'll be takeout and game night, like usual. I just had hand surgery but hopefully in two weeks I'll have enough strength back to bake a cake. I wanted a big elaborate menu of all homemade goodies but...oh well. Maybe in a few months.

Planning a birthday party that I'm not sure anyone outside my boyfriend and BFF will come to: not the highlight of my day.