Neither were Jews.

...Well shit, I'm out. I have to know and care for my job (which has nothing to do with investment banking).

I don't know but I've gotten to the point where I give massive side-eye to anyone who's into anime. I know that's completely unfair. But...yeah. Most white male anime fans I've met are weak, passive, unimaginative, non-readers. (Fanfic doesn't count as reading.) That's not a combination of traits I could tolerate in a…

Pleated pants are the fucking worst. I'm totally with you on this entire list.

Mine is shrink-wrapped for freshness.

Really, I could have shortened this list to no dudebros, no extremists, no smokers, and covered pretty much everything.

No anarchists. No people with poor hygiene. (Hint: if I ask you to shower immediately upon your arrival at my house, the night is going poorly.) No dudebros. No one who's mean to small children, the elderly, or animals. No one who doesn't drive as if their ailing grandma is in the passenger seat. No fundamentalists or…

w00t w00t!

Don't you take my verandas away from me! Do you know how brutal Southern summers are??

I don't spend a lot of time with my parents.

My mom is white, my dad is brown. He's an asshole with a hairtrigger temper a molecule under the surface, but rarely fearsome. Angry Mom is enough to make me hide under my desk, even now as a Grown Up. I got my mom's sass and my dad's coloring and short temper. Woe betide the man who thinks I'll submit to his lazy…

I fully support this plan but I only have like 3 cents in my wallet right now. Good luck!

I was so hoping Sofia was a fan of gefilte fish too...

I've hated maple syrup ever since I was a small child. I don't know why. At one point I liked it a lot.

Don't forget to shake your cane!

My best friend lives with her dad, but she's also in a wheelchair, which severely limits her housing options in this area, and a grad student, which severely limits her income. Her relationship with her dad is really more like roommates than anything else, and they love being able to support each other (he's had some…

Could be. He called it Timmy the Tapeworm and I was like 11, so. Either way, ICK.

My sister has a cat named Fred and a small child who was once a five-month old. Fred used to love fetching twist ties (and occasionally hair ties). Once when no one would throw a hair tie for him, Fred tried to teach the baby to fetch. Didn't work. Smart cat, though.

OMG WTF.

My brother-in-law (who is not Latin American) got a tapeworm once when he was in college. He named it Timmy. The doctor could only pull it out a little at a time or it would break off in his skin wherever it was coming out. He loves to tell this story. I am right now regretting having this memory right before…