"The colors red, blue, and green are real. The color yellow is a mystical experience shared by everyone." - Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead.

I saw a similar joke this week about Google. Something like "I'm not saying you're a slut but you get more uses than Google." Someone else brilliantly pointed out that means the so-called slut would get fucked over 100,000 times a second, continuously, forever.

Right? This is why I'll be so bummed if they allow anonymous comments on Jez. I'll have to leave or risk my sanity but it will be a very sad day. :-(

Oh, no. I'm down some dress sizes over when I started actually paying attention to my diet and started exercising, which was approximately two years ago. Two months ago I started to put on weight and right now I'm up about 20 pounds from my lowest point. But even weighing more now than I did in 2010, my dress size is…

If they implement burner over here I'm OUT. And I will cry about it like I've never cried over the internet before.

About three weeks. I have not gone a day without using either flex points or activity points. One of my goals for this week is to find ways to stay at my current point level without feeling famished all the time. MOAR VEGETABLES PLEASE.

Awww thank you friend! I am giving you an internet hug too. This shit is hard! It's so wonderful knowing I have a support network in real life and with the people who live inside my computer. :-)

Yesterday I had a large bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats, almonds, raisins, and soy milk for lunch. That was the best thing I've done so far this weekend for sure. Cereal is the shit.

Lame! One of the benefits of my job is that birthdays are paid holidays. This year my birthday is on a Sunday so I get a three-day weekend! I vote for a sudden mysterious illness if you can't get a special dispensation ahead of time.

I get comprehensive blood work at least once a year including all the fancy stuff like thyroid and kidney function, because I have diabetes. The last time I did all this stuff was in November and it was clear. I saw my gyno in February and unfortunately I can't go back until next February (insurance, yay) but my PCP…

Oh man I remember watching the entire miniseries once when I was home sick with a bad skin infection. It's at least 10 times better when you have a high fever and narcotics.

So I'm feeling pretty down on myself today

I hate to admit I know people that dumb, but I do.

The cat licking its nose looks like if it were human it would burst into tears. The other cat looks tired and dejected. Although I'm sure they're both just fine.

My future husband Idris Elba and I thank you for posting a flattering picture and humbly request more.

I must be tired because it took me a little while to figure out why this article was about merkins.

Sorry, as a die-hard Beatles fan, I have to disagree with you on regular bass. It's gotta be George Harrison. And Lennon has to do at least some of the songwriting.

Joe Biden can be kind of a doofus sometimes but there's no denying he has an absolutely stellar smile. I'm jealous.

Yeah, this is why I refuse to cross the street against lights as a pedestrian. I don't want to die and I don't want to cause an accident.

Yesterday I came within inches of hitting a pedestrian who started to cross the street as I approached the intersection on a green light. I do mean inches; my car was in the crosswalk when he started to run. It happens to the best of us, unfortunately. Sounds like this was a tragic accident.