Let me tell you I was SO RELIEVED to learn the actor playing Thresh is somewhere in the neighborhood of 24. That's a teensy bit young for me but nothing should get in the way of true lust...I mean love...I mean lust, right?

Yes! I read the letter and found it very touching. Life of Pi is an astounding book, although I'm actually quite surprised he and Michelle thought Malia was old enough for it. She must be an incredibly intelligent, thoughtful preteen herself to have enjoyed it. 'Course, apples, trees, yadda yadda.

I just bought How to Cook Everything and I'm reading it like a novel. I'm planning to try out a couple recipes next week.

I love a man who does storytime with passion. But now I have an overwhelming urge to see him read The Monster at the End of This Book.

About an hour ago I overheard my 10-year-old nephew telling his four-year-old brother that unicorns don't exist. I fired right back with "Don't listen to him, unicorns are totally real!" I don't want to live in a universe where unicorns are imaginary.

It's ok for me to lust after an actor playing a 16-year-old, right? Because the actor himself is of age?

So a guy goes to visit Beethoven's grave. He's amazed to find he can hear, very quietly, Beethoven's 9th Symphony playing quietly in the air. A few days later he goes back and hears Beethoven's 7th. And a few days later, the 5th. He asks the grounds keeper what's going on. "Oh, that? He's decomposing."

I love Michelle so much that if my boyfriend left me for her I would applaud.

Cutie pie! I for one am a fan of stubble.

I'm so bad with stitches and stuff like that. Last year when I had minor surgery on the flexor tendon in my right wrist they put dermabond on after the stitches came out and told me not to touch it. But I work with my hands a lot and that shit got nasty. So totally against doctor's orders I peeled it off a little…

OOOOOOOOOOOOH. BRB, calling my best friend from college who hates it when I say that to her...

Ok, I'm not too proud to admit I don't get it.

The best part is I'm babysitting my three nephews right now. I'm reading some of the cleaner jokes and their reactions are priceless. My sister is raising them right!

I would totally do it, after graduation. I'm taking a couple community colleges now and I feel like my sociology professor and I should be activist BFFs. We're around the same age and are passionate about similar things. I'm trying to decide if I should track her down after I get my transcripts or if that would be…

Thanks! I made up the radish joke after I saw a license plate that just said RADISH. I was curious to know if this person was a farmer or just kind of neat or what, and then the joke just came to me. Neither my boyfriend nor my twitter friends appreciated it, the ingrates.

See, the appropriate way for a person with dollars to handle this situation is to do something that involves little-to-no money. I spent about 3 years completely unable to support myself and it meant spending a lot of time alone because my friends with money didn't fucking get that I couldn't drop "just" $50 on drag…

I know right! They're really lifting my spirits after a rough couple of days.

Yeah, it was weird at first to hang out with a guy who's literally younger than The Simpsons. But then, for the first time ever, I had to tell someone we had had sex too many times in a row and my ladyparts couldn't take it anymore. So. There was a good trade off.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Naw. The last person I dated before the current Mr. Brotherjo will turn 23 9 days before I turn 28. It was insanely fun!