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I'm a lightweight. I'd be on the floor asleep about an hour in...

I want to do a Titanic drinking game with jello shots, but I feel like there isn't enough jello in the world.

It's simply unfair for Adele to be so beautiful, so talented, and so not-bitchy.

I raise you a picture of my roommate's cat: [twitpic.com]

That's a waste of perfectly good Cheerwine.

I second this!

Oh, good one. Well done!

*sigh* Time for this cowgirl to walk off into the sunset I guess...

Not yet. But if I let you teach me and then you get a toaster I demand at least one waffle in return.

I don't ovulate without medical intervention. I don't think I do, anyway. This law confuses me and my uterus.

I completely agree with you that not everything anyone does should be to get the attention of their preferred variety of suitor.

When I had mine pulled they actually had to take 5 teeth and it was done under general anesthesia. I'm told I said some pretty funny things before I was fully under. A few months later I found the notepad I was using to communicate with my sister and ex afterward (I couldn't talk for like 6 hours) and for the life of…

I dunno, I think my problem is the lack of belly buttons. Katy Perry looks like a cheap knock-off of a Barbie in this outfit (ok, for many reasons, only one of which is the belly button). I think part of my brain just needs to make sure the people I'm looking at are either human or really, really good facsimiles.

I am such a sucker for the one raised eyebrow thing. Le sigh.

I am really actually hoping everyone who voted for this bill falls off a cliff onto sharp pointy rocks but not before getting kicked out of office and publicly spanked.

Holy crap, that shade of green is actually giving me a headache.

I like bring on the bottom, ok? I do. I just cannot get off from missionary. It's fun and nice and when I'm in the mood for luuuuuurvemaking instead of fucking it's fine. But if I want to get off with my partner's dick in my glory hole, it's doggy (where I'm on the damn bottom) or cowgirl. You can just shut your face.

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE.

I really, really hope the law allows an exception for sepsis. Really really really.