More along the lines of how to use what fork when stabbing a rival in the back, from what I understand. He's still basically helpless when it comes to the laydeez, or anyone who's not a classmate or coworker, really.

I have a friend in the local MHA (masters in health administration, sort of like an MBA for do-gooders) program, and his professors have taken him and his classmates out to fancy dinners so they can learn how to behave. When your job relies heavily on networking with VIPs, it's a good thing to learn early on.

He's clearly an awful human being, but um he's also kinda hot. I feel bad for saying that.

I missed that one! I heard a bunch of people got arrested and I'm sad I wasn't able to stand in solidarity with them/document the arrests. Thank you for speaking up!

Chicken parm is my favorite comfort food. A specific brand of frozen chicken parm that I have not seen in years. That's probably a good thing because I've been known to eat half the four-person platter at once and then the other half a couple hours later. But I do miss it on my bad days.

Adulthood: an attempt to recreate high school in your favor.

Boyfriend thinks I'd enjoy Minecraft. I'm resisting because I already have too many addictive things taking up my time, and he's probably right.

But he's not James Dean from Rebel Without a Cause.

It took me far too long to realize that's neither James Dean nor James Franco.

These are the kids I invited to study with me in high school the weekend my parents were out of town and I was super-excited and even got snacks! and then they didn't show up and didn't call and made me hate everyone forever.

Sometimes there is nothing more satisfying than unfriending ex-roommates and taking a long hot shower. I feel clean on multiple levels.

None. A simple "thanks but no thanks" is the best way to go.

I can't hear "gay boyfriend" without hearing "Gay Boyfriend."

I moved yesterday and holy shit I'm glad I did. I was living with my landlord, his fiancee, and a subhuman of questionable taste who was the other tenant. I never told the subhuman I was moving and when he saw me loading stuff onto the U-Haul yesterday, he stared at me open-mouthed, then left without saying a word. I…

I am so, so glad I moved into a house with a dog and a cat. The cat is stereotypically reticent but the dog was my new best friend inside of 15 seconds. Snuggles on demand!

If this is fake, it's the most adorably take thing I've ever seen.

Well, I go to them for all my lady-parts needs, and I have good insurance, so Anthem pays them more than I ever could. I will also kick in a donation when I can afford it, but that's not often.

For quite a stretch there, I was on birth control I couldn't afford and not having any sex. BAM. What now, Limbaugh?

Every time I read a story like this I wish I could afford to donate money to Planned Parenthood.

It's so shiny.