Windburn made her cross eyed? Holy crap I didn't know that was a thing. Good for you to give her a home.

I'm a toll collector, and I always regret not putting in ear plugs on the first warm day of spring, because these idiots drive up to the booth at 75 mph, throw the change in your hand and take off with the loudest effing noise I've ever heard. It's like, yes, now everyone within a mile radius knows you have a small…

I used to work at Borders too and we always found tons of Chick tracts in the "New Age" section. I wish I'd kept them, I'd have quite the collection.

Tilda has been my spirit animal since Orlando. However, the article...I don't know. She talks a lot about the importance of free time and being an idler, how she has this constant stream of fascinating artistic types orbiting around her. They even go to the Maldives together!

I know. I realize she's just being a kid but it's not something I could personally put up with on a daily basis.

Someday I may marry or win the lottery but nothing will ever match the joyous tears I cried when I heard "Jungle Love".

I went in '08. Despite the fact that I hate crowds and heat and am too fat to be photographed by a fashion blogger, every year I have been unable to attend since has been disappointing. Perhaps my experience has been colored by the fact that I live in a town where only 2% of these bands would ever play. How…

Can your husband do a Rifftrax for Cosmos? I'd pay money for that.

I love Tina. But I too have to wear glasses to see. I am "not a candidate" for laser vision correction, and suffer from dry eye and TSPK which makes contacts a chore or downright painful. I thought, jeez do I look like Tootsie in a dress? I love Tootsie!

I'm with you on this.

Solution: Nobody in Hollywood gets to breed anymore. Think about it - no more "bump watches". Tons of job positions open because nepotism goes out the window. It's a win-win.

Lady Pilot - Neko Case

I want to print this rant on a t-shirt, but I won't be able to find one that fits me without looking like I'm wearing a tent, so I'll have to print it on one of those junior's "plus size" (ha!) tees, and then the words will be stretched over my tits and everyone will strain to read it and I'll be like "MY EYES ARE UP…

Why Woody Allen Is Always MIA At The Oscars

Even better...it was see through.

OK I thought I was the only one, thanks.

I have only recently started to dig myself out of this mentality. You are exactly right of course.

I just assumed she was wearing mustard colored tights.

This makes me want to move to Chicago.