That’s awesome that you got to meet Roger Federer

I like mayors.

It’s like the cops in Vancouver don’t understand the First Amendment.

“Andrew, these throws look great, strong, accurate. Gotta say I think you’re ready.”

Sounds like the other guy didn’t have a problem keeping it at 1 run. Maybe be more like him?

“You stole that from me, too.” — Kenyon Martin

Even Dennis Rader thinks this guy is a fucking creep

These actions are ridiculous. I feel like a nymphomaniac is also a nun. 

How come Chris Rock can do a routine, and everybody finds it hilarious and groundbreaking, and then I go and do the exact same routine, same comedic timing, and people file a complaint?

Because I am playing for the Vikings.

I always love kicker dogpiles. Kickers have such a weird job within the context of football, much of their practice is off by themselves. They might interact with other special teamers, but it’s unlikely Elliott has much to do with Wentz or Kendricks in his day to day.

Sounds like your kids are going to have some pretty bad sunburns.

If someone could grant me one sports wish it would be to make every sports video available in 1080p.

‘I forgive you, Giri.’

TRUMP: Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
SUPPORTERS: So tell us what you want, what you really, really want
TRUMP: I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
SUPPORTERS: So tell us what you want, what you really, really want
TRUMP: I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)
I…

You mean Dave?

Guess we’ll find out how Susan is doing soon enough.

Seems rather aggressive...A*G*G*R*E*S*S*I*V*E!!!

Favorite part was how uncomfortable everyone’s face was while flexing.