Fuck your dogs

The bear allegedly received the boulder hidden in ground beef delivered by a woman who works at the zoo, who had apparently made plans to leave her husband and run off with the bear, but who backed out of the plan at the last minute. The woman, whose name has not been released, is currently being held and questioned…

I for one, welcome our new ursine overlords

Oof, what a shot!

All I need is some Uranus jokes and I’ll be so happy.

Think he has figured out the simile about him in the woods, yet?

Scouting report on bear:

Also, is anyone else worried that Tom Ley is basically turning into Tony Kornheiser with his paranoid animal musings?

I’m trying to find the part where they answered the question.

Fair point, and it’s an open question if he’s any good at it. But he also seems to be working independently (or even in opposition to) management. Parsons and Cuban (and Dan Fegan) are totally all in together.

I was going to say LeBron, but I guess there’s no “assistant” to his GM title.

The best part of this story is the quiet reveal that she has a penis.

This doesn’t make sense. You’re saying that he signed a poison pill contract (which is true) because....he wanted to stay in Houston? In fact, Parsons was upset that the Rockets didn’t think he could be the third option on a championship-caliber team and didn’t want to go back to Houston. See: http://espn.go.com/nba/st…

Honest question — is Parsons the first player/assistant GM? Should he get a check for his scouting and recruiting work? I know these things happen behind the scenes between players, but I don’t remember a player being this publicly involved, working so closely with (and being lauded by) the owner, etc.

No. I remember how Parsons was pissed that the Rockets weren’t putting any offer on the table, so he wanted to leave and subsequently signed the offer sheet with Dallas.

+1 thgyhgb you magnificent bastard

you can’t plus 1 your own terrible pun. poor internetiquette

Between this and your Twitter feed, you’re like the Tumblr whisperer.