Yeah well. I cleaned MY WHOLE apt this weekend.

ooh! Ooh! My mom’s family is from S. Florida, so “family vacation” always meant “visit Gramma and Grampa in Ft. Lauderdale. Cool. It has a beach! My grandparents live like, on the damn beach so my brother and I would jump out of the car, throw on a swim suit and run head long into the water on a semi public-ish beach…

We met sometime in the summer of 2002 in Seattle. He was a raw vegan...

I always applaud appetizer-based diplomacy.

I don’t have a copy of my senior portrait but it wasn’t that bad...no regrets or anything.

The answer is always, “Yes. Thank you.”

My excuse is that it is delicious and awful and I hate myself.

Fair is fair. You walked the walk and have earned the right to talk the talk. You can take 31 baby steps forward.

But look, this sentence happened, and we can’t not address it:

At which point I hope you just grabbed him, said “What the hell was that you little shit?” and forced him to lick the subway platform as the doors repeatedly tried to close on his neck.

I met my husband through my ex, as we were all part of a group of friends in college. This isn’t a skeevy thing where I dumped my ex for my husband. I actually got dumped by the ex (who was my fiance at the time) and he actually suggested my husband and I hook up, because he thought since we were both overweight, we’d…

The only reason I picked it up is because I use the same post production trick to tighten up the headshots I take of regular ol’ folks. The darkening on his left (our left) forehead, temple and cheek (his right cheek has the same treatment) gives the impression of a more sculpted looked. Same darkening around his…

The year or two before I turned 21 was the best time I ever had pretending to be someone else.

I always pretended that I was actually adopted and had way cooler parents and was probably a princess (because OBVIOUSLY).

Back in the day, I was often told that with my big 80s perm-curly red hair and similar features that I bore a resemblance to Tawny Kitaen from the Whitesnake video. So one night some girlfriends and I were out at a club and these guys were buying us drinks because they had somehow been led to believe that I was the…

When I was twelve and far more ignorant than I am now, I tried to put nailpolish on my lips because I really liked the glossiness/sparkle of a certain one I had.

Burns for days.

It always blows my mind as well. I have a daughter (no sons) but I’ve observed this bizarre dissociation within my family. One notable example: when one of my cousins told his mother that his girlfriend was pregnant (he was 15 at the time), my aunt FREAKED OUT that the girlfriend wasn’t on birth control, and called…

Look,

That's kinda insulting. There's no "hygienic" reason women should shave or even trim for that matter. Actually shaving, for both sexes, can cause cuts that can be a gateway for infection. For both sexes, its purely cosmetic. That said, do your partner a favor and at least trim it back some.