You’ve clearly either never been to comedy shows, or have always been the person making other people uncomfortable at comedy shows.

Wrongo, champ. You being a keyboard warrior, posting links to a previous funbag and getting really intense about a story (that was funny and not-at-all cruel to the handicapped people it easily could have mericlessly mocked) unfortunately certifies you as an Official Asshole. Your (Affliction) t-shirt and membership…

Underrated comment. Fine work. +1

Uh. Was ist das, my man?

This is my real gripe. If Showalter was imagining a long, long game, he could have thought, hey, let’s have Ubaldo because he’s gonna be able to put up a few and I’ll have Britton for the 15th or whatever.

Always the correct answer.

And I’m really noticing it more than ever this year: I kind of can’t be assed to watch football much. That’ll likely change when baseball goes, but honestly? Shit’s boring. I’m tired of whistles and flags and these days when I notice it’s 1pm on a Sunday more and more I just shrug and keep doing whatever I was doing…

Note: not true.

Hahahaha unreal. I got one from a saved True Meaning of War. Thought I was the luckiest fucker alive. Turned out to have no range perks, close and/or personal, and full auto. I’ll keep it around for a little bit, but it’s probably going in the trash heap. Ahh, well.

Tlaloc is pretty incredible, if you’re using it while holding onto your super. The RoF is bananas and the impact goes nuts too. It’s totally viable because of 1:1 infusions still, too.

It’s ok, fam. Feel your pain. Bethlehem for 6 years or so. Those jabs always hurt because it’s what I’d say to my own damn self in the mirror (then walk around naked and laughing in my giant cheap two-floor apartment I shared with absolutely nobody).

Diana, as always, thank you for the kind of sportswriting I know I can never find anywhere else. Sincerely: thank you.

OH MY GOD THEY DID IT!

Psh, everyone knows hot takes don’t get hot enough to melt steel beams.

This is some mystifyingly good Kinja.

I was in college in Maine in 2008. I didn’t even gloat. I just wore my Osi Umenyiora jersey to class on Monday and kept my mouth shut.

Fuck. Yes. It is goddamn Nuclear Kinja Explosion Christmas.

Wow, this is some top-notch Kinja.

Strongly agreed. If the shift persists, lower-powered, high-skill directional hitters may become the new stars. And I, for one, welcome our new overlords. If, 20 years from now, shifts aren’t limited but we have a league full of Ichiros? Hell yes.

(I know he’s a generational player and not everyone could simply be like…

Yeesh, shandy, nevermind.