If a plane is flying to Newark at 500 mph and a bat is flying in the opposite direction at 15 mph how long does it take for the bat to reach the lunch cart?

Holy crap! I had one of these! I don’t remember the woodgrain, though (shudder.) Yep, next stop was Atari!

Too soon, man.

Huh. I’ve not heard this theory before. You may be on to something. I see a lot of old, white, religious people and a lot of them have “perma-frown.” Their default facial expression is Grumpy Cat.

Hello? Duct Tape?

I’m a masochist. I just yank the ever-lovin’ shit out of it until it lets me into second.

I think it’s your ground. Drill a hole and make a new ground.

<snort>

Magical Cookie Lady anyone? The Oracle in the Matrix? 

+5

Simply, “do not touch my shit.”

If anyone needs help pronouncing Pascagoula, I can help.

Honestly Dude, this would be a solid book.

Thank you for writing that. 

I am in awe of this man. Fantastic writing. Well done.

Who buys a boulder?

Confucius say: Sitting in a car before you sit in it is the path of enlightenment.

Perhaps a barn?

Can you mix in giant SUV’s with tiny women driving them?

You put the letters outside?! Come on!