I saw New Found Glory back in 2002. They sucked. Know who didn’t suck? Their opener, Something Corporate. Now there was a pop-punk band that knew how to put on a show.

There is but one answer:

Don’t worry, Lori.  This will all be resolved by the third commercial break.

Well, it’s called the University of Spoiled Children for a reason

Yes. Pet the Pup at the Party

“My biggest weakness is that I’m a perfectionist.  And I run a sex cult.”

That solves one problem, but now she’s gotta stay late and clean the blood off the bar.

Say “Get the fuck out of my bar”.

The real walkers....have been inside each and every one of them all along.

The series will conclude when our heroes discover the way to defeat the walkers is not with hate, but with love.  

This has nothing to do with our subject, but if you think sexuality is binary then you are missing the fuck out.

Please get over the plasticity of language. There are tons of vernaculars within American English and they’re all equally valid as languages.

“I want chicken nuggets and a beer”

An acquaintance described it as “Dennis Reynolds played straight.”

>nobody cares

Also probably the best case scenario following a “Full Disclosure:” after an R. Kelly article.

It’s high comedy, because it works on multiple levels, but also it’s low comedy because of absolutely everything else about it.

Cop: “You have the right to be tried by a jury of peers.”

I’d like a second opinion on whether or not it is, in fact, legally impossible to have half a kid.

Some dude gives it to me - and this might sound crazy - but I’m pretty sure it’s the same fish, every time.