But seriously, as much as I was kidding, Scots consider themselves to have been oppressed by the English and the kilt is a symbol of a unique Scottish identity, not a fashion accoutrement for weddings and red carpets.

Scots would also appreciate it if non-Scots stopped wearing kilts, ye bampot culture thieves.

Waiting for the first upload with a soundtrack of Rick Astley.

Edit, because I should be more careful:

This week it was announced that the rich got even richer, by 23%, while the gap between rich and poor was at its widest in a century, coincidentally since when the UK’s socialist Labour Party was formed and The Ragged-Trousered Philanthropists was written. But then if one finds that a little disconcerting, it’s…

In space, no-one can hear.

To be fair, in a BBC special last night, he explained that free album like a bottle of milk. It was supposed to turn up on your doorstep but Apple sneaked into your hous, into your frdge and sometimes onto your conrflakes. So there you have it: Us, as rock n roll as milk

Two houses? Pth, come back when you’ve got more castles than you can shake a bitter memoir at.

Do you know over 80% of the world’s violence is visited upon men? So unfair. And don’t be coming back at me with that “over 80% of the world’s violence is perpetrated by men,” because male security guards did not beat the crap put of this man while throwing him out. And that is also so unfair.

Here’s how old I am: I thought “called Layman an Uber” meant he said “You are an Uber,” meaning something like an ultimate nazi art-destroying machine before I did a second take and realised this is the modernest of times.

I endorse this message from all the way over here. It’s the best thing on British TV at the moment and you know we can do good TV.

They should include Elvis Costello’s “Accidents Can Happen,” given that was the warning Diana claimed was given to her by Charles’s good friend and constitutionalist, Nicholas Soames.

I gave up after too many rounds of arguments about something being said behind somebody’s back rather than about what was said. Content is king, ladies.

“I’d take your lunch but I like nutrition.”

In a poll conducted with 2,000 men by an adult social networking website, 33.1% said they find brown hair more attractive, 29.5% chose blonde, black polled 28.6% and red 8.8%

Consider the archetypal hillbilly accent, then consider in-breeding. See how it works?

Attention to carpet detail but not the passengers walking upon them. Seems so Hollywood. But as William Goldman said of reality in movies, “Do you really want to watch Mel Gibson drive around the courthouse for 45 minutes looking for a parking space?”

and/or aesthetic importance

It’s a funny thing that I found I gave more when I had less.