Really, you just need to look at his background to see where this stuff comes from:

Why were they interviewing post-bender mark Zuckerberg about barstool sports

From: Gordon McKenzie (g.mac@outlook.ca)

I pulled a 12-year-old kid from the mound this year, asked him if he made every pitch perfectly up to that point in the game. He said no.

This will take a big chunk of the risk away, and it’s acceptable for a pretty simple reason: the players really, really do not want to be maiming or killing fans with foul balls.

He could have pulled out one of those ren faire turkey legs- or something just as greasy and unwieldly.

 He could leave midway and Skype in?

“Hey! My eyes are up...! Oh, nevermind.”

Oh, it wasn’t just you. We were all thinking it.

Everyone’s an armchair assassin.

I’m surprised the U.S. players haven’t responded to the criticism by just saying the same thing louder and slower.

Your mum gets it as well.

These aren’t mutually exclusive, you judgmental ass. And i was trying to generate a bit of dark humor, but since that was obviously lost on you, let’s examine, shall we?

He knows what he did.

I just hope that playing down there doesn’t mess up the rotation on his shot. 

Meanwhile, the photographer who took the pictures says his photos were stolen and published without his permission. Seems like...maybe he should have been more careful?

Still more are stranded on Boston’s transit system, deep beneath the streets, forever, the never returned, fate unknown.

Get well Drew.

“This is some pretty heavy stuff.”

“In an altered paranoid state, believing ordinary citizens were government officials that were tracking him and recording him.”

I could see how this would be difficult for someone so used to going...
*Puts on shades*
unnoticed.