What the fuck is this nonsense? I’ve watched enough Japanese porn to know that THIS MUTHAFUCKKA GOT A DICK ON HIS BACK!

I heard Yanni

In closing, we only have about 3 weeks left

“God, these people disgust me with their sexism and backward traditions.”

“with flawed logic about things”

They probably liked the fact that RG3's knee isn’t even capable of bending.

In comparison, Ronaldo doesn’t even need to be told to walk, he just does it anyways. Advantage: Ronaldo.

Fittipaldi Slattery has a nice ring to it. Solid work.

I can relate. On way to work today my shoe became untied. I faced the uncertain fear of stopping to tie it and risk being run over or push on. I decided to press on in constant fear of possibly tripping. Barely made it.

I don’t comment online

In that they’re both big Trump supporters?

She’ll certainly get an icy reception from the other curlers.

I always love a Sherman torching the South joke. Take your star.

“I would take...a colossal penis any day.”

I would take a backup QBs salary, a Super Bowl MVP and a colossal penis any day.

Impressive, but not quite as cruel as when Messi sent Boateng down a sinkhole.

He stays in in bathroom instead of running? He’s the yin to the Mad Pooper’s yang.

Big deal. FIFA has been determining outcomes with paper in briefcases for decades.

“Add this clip to the Golden Tate mixtape Chicago Bears blooper reel:”